Jake Gyllenhaal Awarded the LAPD Medal of Valor!

(No, he wasn't.)

Okay, I am sorry.  I AM SORRY.  Because I know this was clearly an important event in someone's life, but I don't have a goddamned CLUE why the FUCK Jake was at the LAPD Medal of Valor Ceremony except maybe this is tied to his cop movie (which doesn't come out until sometime next year, so why bother) and this picture is SO AWKWARD.

The fishbowl angle, the fact that Jake is wearing fucking cop sunglasses and none of the actual cops are (dude, get over yourself), and for Christ's sake, I know I already made a homoerotic police officer post but JESUS.  The hand placement!

All of which is a long way of saying, A GOLD STAR to the person who comes up with the best story for this picture.  Extra points for incorporating the nametags and a point deduction to anyone who ruins it by telling us the exact details behind the photo.

(Kidding - again - on the last.  I would love to hear why Jake was actually there.)