Monday, September 27, 2010

Guess Who's Back, Back Again?

Not Shady, no! britpopbaby. And I'm here for the love of "I'm Stalking Jake!".

Britpopbaby Reviews "I'm Stalking Jake" In The Only Way Shes Knows How...Disjointed and Rambling

My first ever book review was for a creative writing class at University in 2007. I reviewed ‘Things Snowball’ by Rich Hall. After spending weeks dissecting, and prodding this book within an inch of its life all the response my Professor could muster was, ‘But you didn’t mention that Rich Hall is most famous for being a stand-up comic.’ So with that sage advice in mind, I begin my second ever book review…

Becky Heineke is not famous for being a stand-up comic. In my head she’s famous for being the only real life person I know that’s from Memphis, Tennessee, being a Beatles fan, being a Photoshop WIZZZZard, wearing slogan t-shirts, having parents that seem cooler than mine and half-heartedly stalking Jake Gyllenhaal (this book will show you there are some actual professionals out there).

On a more personal level she’s the girl I spent HOURS of my life emailing back and forth about sidebar designs, fake Myspacers, a dog called Boo, an online merchandising empire, plagiarism, strange ladies with blonde beehives called Barbie, the artistic direction of Jake Watch, lawsuits, hypersensitive Gyllenfans, hypermoody assorted Gyllenhaal relatives, really WEIRD emails from really WEIRD people, editors from US Weekly who can’t spell and occassionally, Jake Gyllenhaal (and how he wrecked everything, all the time).

For those on a tight schedule please read the Short Review:
Read this book!!! It will change your life. It’s got puggles and Sprinkles cupcakes!

Long review: It’s difficult for me to review 'I’m Stalking Jake' from any other standpoint than the one I have – like someone wrote out a year and a half from an odd point in my life and analysed it for me. I mean I could have paid serious money for that kind of therapy. But honestly, this is why I loved loved loved this book, this is why it made me laugh and cry, why it made me feel guilty, feel awesome, feel ridiculous. It reminded me how much fun we had, how angry we got, how we were determined to keep going, how we ended up in situations we really shouldn’t have and most importantly how lame Jake Gyllenhaal’s PR team are.

But if you never read Jake Watch or if you’re not even a Jake Gyllenhaal fan this book is about a million and one other things. This truly is a modern tale that shows you everything the internet has to offer from the brilliance and creativity it can reveal in people through to the sad and depressing things it can do to lonely dissatisfied souls right down to the properly dark shiz. Without sounding too over-dramatic (me? Overdramatic?!), this book is about our generation – my generation – us kids who were told working hard, getting a good education and playing by the rules was all you needed to do to get somewhere. It’s about two kids who left University and found out that that cruelly wasn’t true but we kept trying anyway (by the way, the ultimate dream was to be incredibly awesome at something we loved doing that paid lots of money rather than to get an interview with Jake Gyllenhaal).

The writing is (and I can say this as a seasoned critic – Sparkle Motion anyone?) open and honest, sometimes brutal. Most people don’t come off great, including Jake Gyllenhaal (and also me), but that’s okay because it’s the goddamn truth. I know Prophecy Girl was so popular with JW fans as she was warm, hilarious and most importantly relatable and this all transcends into print. Once you’ve finished this book you’ll feel like you’ve made a pretty cool, if slightly manic, friend and if you don’t get through reading the chapter on the Babygate incident without feeling like stamping on Stephen Gyllenhaal’s big toe on Becky’s behalf then you’re obviously dead inside. It made me howl and cringe in equal amounts at some of things we did and said (why would anyone think Stephen Gyllenhaal was the answer to anything EVER?) but wtf, it was one wicked random ride. Okay, I’m going to stop now because this is kind of sounding like an obituary.

Before I go, you get to learn a lot of things about Prophecy Girl in I’m Stalking Jake that may have been difficult for her to share, so to even the balance, here are some things about britpopbaby and her lingering thoughts that you probably didn’t need to know about:

1. I had entirely too much time on my hands at University because I didn’t read half the books I was suppose to and I’m not sure how I ever passed my degree. If I had chosen Law like my Dad wanted me to, none of us would probably even be here. Ponder that.
2. I actually did want to use Jake Watch as a springboard to a writing career (my grammar and spelling aside). I totally underestimated the hysteria, drama and general craziness associated with running a ‘fan’ site. If I had, say, a dagger that turns back time I might have stuck with my original idea – a blog on Britpop culture – hence my name. Who knew?
3. I’m so glad we quit when we did because I couldn’t have handled the Prince of Persia. Seriously, Jake? Seriously? A dagger that turns back time?
4. But on the otherhand I sometimes still feel guilty for quitting Jake Watch. That PoP haircut would have led to some truly amazing posts.
5. There were things we really didn't like about Jake Gyllenhaal.
6. I still don’t honestly know if Jake Gyllenhaal is straight, gay or bi. It truthfully didn’t matter to us a blog. The one thing that really hurt me during all of this is when we got accused of being homophobic just because we happened to think Jake was straight. I found it truly offensive (even more so than being called a Nazi Cow) and extremely narrow-minded of the people who, in their minds, were supposedly so much more liberal and educated than we were. In fact, I’ll be even more honest. We didn’t want Jake Gyllenhaal to be gay but not because we haboured some ridiculous fantasy about dating him but because I didn’t want that stupid fucking blog that STOLE my ideas and it’s deluded readership to be right. So, Jake, if you are gay, please don’t ever come out, just for the sake of our pride – you owe us that much. By the way, this isn't really covered in the book as it actually wasn't that important to the flow of the story. But I hold grudges. Go figure.
7. I still don’t regret stealing extracts from an Interview magazine, um, interview from another blog and then being sarcastically arsey about it. The back story to this event is not explained entirely in the book but I wrote that woman back SO many times, mainly because I was afraid she was going to top herself out of loneliness and she sits up all night and writes out magazine articles for other frickin’ people!!! And I still can’t believe it lead someone to sit up all night crying and downing a bottle of wine because they thought it was a personal attack. Seriously, reassess. Maybe after reading this book, you will…

Anyways....Read this book!!!

Okay, I gotta go eat ice cream. Peace out. (I only swore once, go me!)


Becky Heineke September 27, 2010 at 4:13 PM  

Well clearly I should take down the post from earlier since you just explained what the book is about!!

That's britpopbaby. Always cutting through Prophecy Girl's melodramatic wailing to get to the heart of the matter...

It's why we are the BEST JAKE GYLLENHAAL BLOGGING TEAM IN HISTORY. (Don't knock it. There's more competition for that title than you might think.)

(P.S. This review made me feel all of the emotions you felt reading the book. THANK YOU!!!!!)

(P.P.S. I still think you should write the companion volume one day, if for no other reason than, as you pointed out, I left out 100% of the drama from Point #6. I thought ignoring it was the best punishment I could dole out from what little I was involved. Should you ever want to write that book, I'm committing right now to writing you an awesome review.)

(P.P.P.S. From the sphere of brutal experience, I can tell you the Prince of Persia haircut was not worth coming back for...but it was close. :))

Nothing Really Matters September 27, 2010 at 4:36 PM  

How I've missed Britpop! Remember the gay old times us pussies used to have?

I want my copy now!

Vanessa September 27, 2010 at 4:37 PM  

Damn it to hell, I wish more than ever now that I had been around during the famous JW days. I feel like I missed out on so much crazy fun. Although granted I would have been having more fun than you guys considering the actual story behind JW.

But, seriously, I have to say, I pretty much agree with BPB's review of the book on all points. & for the record, I wanted to do more than stamp on Stephen's big toe after I read Babygate. I felt like doing something WAY WORSE to him actually, but I won't put that in writing here.

On another note, I totally love Jake's look in PoP, that is what brought me to ISJ in the 1st place, & the wonderful discovery of PG. I still intend to go back & read all of the posts on JW eventually too. & BPB, if you do ever decide to write the companion book, you can bet I will definitely buy a copy & all my friends will too, (because I will make them). >;-)

KD,  September 28, 2010 at 12:33 AM  

Not going to lie; I skimmed the review because it's 10:30 pm and I just finished my homework after hours of entertaining guests...but I will say this! BRITPOPBABY.

and also:


And thank you for the LOVELY note, PG. It was really wonderful. <3

Cina,  September 28, 2010 at 1:21 AM  

How lovely to see you again, britpopbaby! It's been far too long! :)

I have just started to read the book so I don't have a lot of comments on it yet, other than that it was pretty damn hard to put down last night. :P

And britpop - I hold grudges too. *pukes*

joelliea September 28, 2010 at 9:06 AM  

this review intrigues me ^_^. will definitely get the book, somehow (I don't really fancy online shopping, but I'll find a way).

Call Me Mo September 28, 2010 at 11:17 AM  

Hurrah. That is def a banging review.

Lola,  September 28, 2010 at 7:22 PM  

hmm, #7 sounds interesting well the whole thing sounds interesting. Im seriously going to be the last one here to read this book, i probably will have to wait untill christmas:(

Vanessa September 28, 2010 at 10:32 PM  

@joelliea, you can always order a signed copy straight from PG herself, that way you don't have to order it online. She said to just email her for the order. I can vouch for the book, it was excellent & I am going to read it again soon even.

@Lola, come join us over at the new forum, there are all kinds of threads over there to discuss different things like Jake, Jake, & more Jake. Just kidding, but really, we have threads going over there about other things besides the dude. & we can discuss the book too! >;-)

joelliea September 29, 2010 at 8:34 AM  

@Vanessa and PG

Does PG accept international order? PG, YGM.

britpopbaby September 29, 2010 at 12:29 PM  

HOLLER! Glad my review was inspiring/motivating. I just realised I made Jake sound quite 'dark' when I said there were things about him we didn't like.

Nice to see some old friends and new peeps alike! And yes, NRM, I remember those times like they were yesterday!

Becky Heineke September 29, 2010 at 2:43 PM  

But Jake IS dark. I've heard he's wet and wild, too...

Sam September 29, 2010 at 5:13 PM  

BPB! You have no idea how nice it is to have you back, even if it is just a once off.

You say you didnt come across all that great, i disagree. I felt alot of respect for you from PG, I kept thinking alot about you. I think you're human and you managed to handle eveything very well. (and even put a funny, no, hallarious spin on everything!)

Considering you guys were half a world apart, you did an AMAZING great. I never realised the AMOUNT of time you must have put it. Niave of me- i thought you pretty much just put up posts whenever you guys felt like it... ah... little did i know...

I appreciated it then, by golly do i appreciate it now


(PG, you'll get your thankyou tomorrow!)

Miffed67 October 3, 2010 at 5:01 PM  

Awwww, britpopbaby! I've missed you! Thanks for the awesome review!

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