Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Quote(s) of the Week

Today's quote comes via my Facebook wall:

LULZ TIMES A THOUSAND, Facebook friend.

(Sadly, despite my many promises, I will not be able to watch this exciting premiere, for I will be on the road to St. Louis for - I can't believe I'm actually saying this - business purposes.  But I'm roughly 10 billion percent sure that I'll catch one of the endless reruns of this program, and thus still be able to fulfill my obligation to recap it for those of you without access to American basic cable.)

And because I'm feeling particularly generous today, here's another quote, this one from my e-mail inbox:

FACT:  David Hasselhoff cares about I'm Stalking Jake.


Saturday, June 25, 2011

Er, Should I Be Concerned?

Top searches from a couple of weeks ago:

You're a bunch of damn macabre fans; you know that, right?


Sunday, June 19, 2011

Man vs. Jake Gyllenhaal

Is that Jake Gyllenhaal or Ralphie's kid brother Randy?

Hahaha, I crack myself up.

As has been the subject of endless conversation for months (because really, what the hell else are Jake fans going to talk about?), Jake Gyllenhaal is set to appear on an episode of Man vs. Wild at some point, sometime, in the future, sometime.

I haven't the foggiest idea when.  But if someone else knows, this information would be most appreciated.

ALSO, I would like to extend a heartfelt welcome to the newest blog in the Jake Gyllenhaal blogging community:  Jake Gyllenhaal's World!  You should check it out; it's a tad more informative on a general level than the blog you are currently reading. ;) 


Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Clearly I Have Done a HORRIBLE Job of Branding Myself

I've known this for, oh, forever, but was feeling maybe a little embarrassed at so blatantly touting that I had something to sell.

Recently, however, I have decided to get over this.

Posts will continue as usual, but considering the disturbingly high volume of e-mail from new readers in the past six months who seem both oblivious to the fact that there even is a book (which baffles me considering in the past you had to scroll past the Amazon ads for it to even get to my e-mail address) and confused about the fact that the whole "stalker" thing is ironic (come on! I don't even post Twitter sightings of the guy!), I thought it best to do a minor reboot.

So here we are, with a new design that will hopefully make it harder to ignore that I desperately need your money.

And remember:  You are not a real Jake fan until you've read the book I'm Stalking Jake! by Becky Heineke.  

Thank you and have a nice day. :)


Monday, June 13, 2011

Jake and Peter Tell the World, "Bitch, Please"

More at JustJared!


Monday, June 6, 2011

Jake Gyllenhaal Awarded the LAPD Medal of Valor!

(No, he wasn't.)

Okay, I am sorry.  I AM SORRY.  Because I know this was clearly an important event in someone's life, but I don't have a goddamned CLUE why the FUCK Jake was at the LAPD Medal of Valor Ceremony except maybe this is tied to his cop movie (which doesn't come out until sometime next year, so why bother) and this picture is SO AWKWARD.

The fishbowl angle, the fact that Jake is wearing fucking cop sunglasses and none of the actual cops are (dude, get over yourself), and for Christ's sake, I know I already made a homoerotic police officer post but JESUS.  The hand placement!

All of which is a long way of saying, A GOLD STAR to the person who comes up with the best story for this picture.  Extra points for incorporating the nametags and a point deduction to anyone who ruins it by telling us the exact details behind the photo.

(Kidding - again - on the last.  I would love to hear why Jake was actually there.)


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