Thursday, July 1, 2010

Jake Strangles Elmo, Horrifies Children Everywhere

It's the cold, placid smile as he does it that I find most disturbing...


So I...had to go away for awhile.  None of us like to talk about it.  But there were a few weeks, or, er, months...alright years...when I wasn't covering Jake news.  In that time, Jake mainly just drank coffee, walked on sidewalks, and hung out with some blonde woman (I don't know her name) to make sure I didn't miss anything of importance during the hiatus.  But there were a few things of genuine interest that I wasn't there to cover.  There was a music video or two, Stephen started blogging (...really?), and there's a crazy rumor going around that there was a movie about brothers or something...

Obviously I'll have to go back and report on all this stuff, but not before I cover the most shocking incident that occurred in my absence, and that is the concerning trend of Jake strangling muppets on children's television.  He not only did it above, he did it below:


The octopus survived, but sustained injuries.  Elmo?  Not so lucky.

57 comments:

Anonymous,  July 1, 2010 at 12:41 PM  

That's probably my favourite Jake video :)

Anonymous,  July 1, 2010 at 12:42 PM  

I choked on my cornflakes. Literally. This has to be the best post so far, and I didn't think you could match the werewolf! :D

And how cute does Jacob look with his hands on Elmo's throat, adorable. I need a neck massage, whenever you get time off from strangling cudly animals, call me Jake!

Vanessa,  July 1, 2010 at 1:05 PM  

OMFG, you got me again today, woman! I had already started my daily laughter regimen from continuing with my catch up of your previous pages, (I'm finally up to May 26th!), & then lo & behold this gem popped up & I about lost it. Thank you once again for making my day, month, year, all of the above.

Becky Heineke July 1, 2010 at 2:45 PM  

I'd seen the video before (a favorite of mine, too, anon!), but I hadn't seen the picture...and when I ran across it yesterday, I about DIED laughing. He makes this too easy. ;)

Glad you're making progress Vanessa! God, thinking back, I'm almost half-way embarrassed at how much I've written so far... (Eek!)

Call Me Mo July 1, 2010 at 2:49 PM  

Elmo probably deserved it. That guy is always up to something and I'm sure Jake caught on to it.

Jake sans hair products is adorable. With his hair sticking up in the back. Aww. =]

Nothing Really Matters July 1, 2010 at 3:18 PM  

"He not only did it above, he did it below"

Is it wrong to giggle at that!

Anonymous,  July 1, 2010 at 3:39 PM  

Hahahahahaha, NRM, nice one, can't believe I missed that gem of a hidden meaning :D

Tandia July 1, 2010 at 4:15 PM  

Hahahahahaha, you have just made my day!
I think I almost died laughing..

Jake looks very cute in this video..
What was this from?

Becky Heineke July 1, 2010 at 5:27 PM  

The video is from December of last year. Sesame Street did a bunch of celebrity guest spots (Maggie did one, too), and I'm not entirely sure how Jake and Maggie got involved, but their mother was part of the Children's Television Workshop and actually helped create Sesame Street...so that probably had something to do with it! :D He looks so young with his hair like that, doesn't he?? I kind of love it. :)

And NRM, while usually my double entendres are accidental, that one most definitely was not. Hee hee. ;)

Sam July 1, 2010 at 6:40 PM  

THAT WAS AWESOME!!!! How can you not fall in love with him when he's doing things like seasame street!!

And i really like that haircut, it does make him look younger! Giggity!

gyllenhaalisgr8 July 1, 2010 at 7:24 PM  

Ah, the younger, "baby Jake"... reminds me of my boy toy days (not that I wouldn't jump right back on that bad boy horse for the right Gyllenhaal!).... And, he was practically always clean-shaven then, probably due to the lack of pubescence...! God, I love Baby Jake.

KD,  July 1, 2010 at 10:20 PM  

I LOVED this video of Jake, PG! It was so damn cute!

I have to admit though, I DID wonder where Jake learned such a killer (pun intended!) strangle hold.

I NEVER LIKED ELMO ANYWAY.

Nothing Really Matters July 2, 2010 at 2:19 PM  

PG darling I think we're often on the same page! :-P

Becky Heineke July 2, 2010 at 2:54 PM  

NRM, ALWAYS, darling. ;)

KD, it is suspicious...were these his Prince of Persia fighting moves put to bad (good) use?! Though with people throwing themselves at him as often as they do, it's comforting to know he can hold his own. ;D

Becky Heineke September 1, 2010 at 7:42 PM  

^^^ Er, I'm all about swapping links, but what's your site??

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