Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Let's Talk Taylor Swift

Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift MAY OR MAY NOT maybe be allegedly dating.  Maybe.

On a scale of 1 - 10...

The level to which I find this believable:  2

The level to which the two of them as a couple makes sense:  5  (See below.)

The level to which I care:  -4  (Calculated by dividing my negative interest in Taylor by my low- to mid-level interest in Jake, which is directly proportional to the public's interest in him at any given time and thus reflective of my own personal gain.)


WHY THIS COUPLE MAKES SENSE:

1.  Generally speaking, Taylor falls neatly within the limited range of Jake's Ideal Woman Specifications.  Blonde hair?  Check.  Blue eyes?  Check.  More famous than he is?  Double-check.

2.  Taylor is 20 years old.  All 20-year-old girls love Jake Gyllenhaal.

3.  Jake is about 9 months past due for a rebound and nothing says "I was burned by an older woman who told me she wasn't looking to get married and then turned around and immediately got engaged to some other random dude" like dating on the opposite end of the age spectrum.

WHY THIS COUPLE DOESN'T MAKE SENSE:

1.  IT'S JAKE GYLLENHAAL AND TAYLOR SWIFT.

IS THIS A PUBLICITY STUNT?

Obviously.  Her album dropped yesterday, he's kick-starting his Love & Other Drugs promotional tour as we speak.  They've been seen together (apple-picking!?  that's so lame it's worthy of me making it up as a parody) and photographed together (such things never happen accidentally).  And with Reese on the cover of US Weekly with her engagement news and Jake in need of something other than the Prince of Persia disaster for people to talk about while he does his Love & Other Drugs publicity rounds, this is stage-crafted perfection.

IS IT WORKING?

Maybe.  Since the story "broke" on Perez, the numbers for the (now estranged) Love & Other Drugs Facebook page have jumped.  The rumor has also spread faster and wider than the comparable Rachel Bilson and Isabel Lucas rumors from this summer.  The difference here is twofold:  not only are there are pictures (meaning both parties are complicit in spreading the story), but in this scenario, Jake is the lesser star.  Jake's modus operandi is to attach himself to higher profile celebrities and let the women steer the publicity campaign.  Jake can't even be bothered to pay someone else to run an official website for him, so it's always safe to assume that in terms of getting the news out, he's the one following and not leading.

And lucky him, Taylor's on fire right now.  This has already gotten Jake more press than he's had in months.  (Case in point, this week, it's him on the cover of US Weekly.)

IN CONCLUSION:

If this helps Love & Other Drugs' chances at the box office then...er...good job.  But I feel like I've watched this one one too many times before.  We already know how it ends (and it will end):  with him sulking and her writing a radio-ready fairy tale ballad.

Speaking as the target demographic here (for both the film and the two people we're talking about), the report from the ground level is that you're losing us on all counts, and this isn't doing you any favors...

Good luck with him, Taylor.
Taylor piccie from here.  Couple shot here.

44 comments:

Leslie October 27, 2010 at 11:24 AM  

I've said this many times since this news broke. I don't approve at all.

Nothing Really Matters October 27, 2010 at 11:35 AM  

Lol at at the picking of apples! This is just too funny!

I think if he's going to do this sort of thing it should be with a more mature women! ;-P

Sasha,  October 27, 2010 at 11:40 AM  

wow I learnt a lot today with this post ... proves I'm such a newbee to Gyllenhell ... I obviously haven't digged deep enough into history

Mel,  October 27, 2010 at 11:47 AM  

Thanks for saying almost everything I've been saying - but much clearer and succinct. If it is a publicity game, I know people play it but it kind of pisses me off.

Vanessa October 27, 2010 at 11:49 AM  

hah, PG, that is Post Perfection to a tee! Loved it! & laughed out loud which I really needed today.

This is definitely going to be fun watching their BS "blossoming relationship" unfold. Although I really don't believe there is any relationship anyway. I really do think it is just for PR. Ewwww. ^_^

Vanessa October 27, 2010 at 11:52 AM  

@Sasha, love your word, "Gyllenhell", you said a mouthful, woman! heheheh.

gyllenhaalisgr8 October 27, 2010 at 12:31 PM  

First off, Reese is NOT engaged, as the People cover implied. In fact, she's pulling the same shit on Jim as she did on Jake...not in a rush, likes her life the way it is...poor Jim -- she reels them in and then filets them!

Secondly, I just want Jake to find someone who will make him happy. Is this Taylor? She has said she is NOT dating anyone and is concentrating on her career. How this pairing happened, I haven't a clue. However, she will be on the CMA show and so will Gwyneth Paltrow. So that should be interesting to see if the Gyllster attends. I will not say anything bad about Taylor...yet. But Reese is still a demon from hell.

http://on.fb.me/c1FK5g

Anonymous,  October 27, 2010 at 1:24 PM  

I'm with you PG, I think this is not some romance. Could be publicity act.

No one took a pic of them at the orchard? interesting. No one found a problem taking pics of Jake on the subway or at the Foodie gathering when he was spotted with his BFF Chris Fischer.

She is due to be on DWTS next Tues, it is a live performance. Let's see if Jake jets off to Calif.

sweetpea

Linda,  October 27, 2010 at 2:38 PM  

Amen to that!
this is just bullshit..
all this taylor swift thing is just so ridiculous!
I'm not buying her fucking album anyway hahaha

sumi k October 27, 2010 at 2:57 PM  

i think its a thousand percent chance of this being a PRmance.


and my niece told me the most horrible thing the other day. my niece (who is 12) mentioned how her friend has dated 10 guys so far since the beginning of the school year. i asked her if her friend actually did anything with these guys, and my niece said, "yes, and we all call her tayswift now. she makes out and does other things and then they break up and she writes poems about them."

LOLs always arrive from kids.

Anonymous,  October 27, 2010 at 3:15 PM  

I agree with Gyllenhaalisgr8 I too just want Jake to find someone who makes him happy.

I just have a hard time understanding how someone his age could be involved with someone Taylor's age (if they are involved). I'm the same age as Jake and I could never be involved with someone so young. That's just me though.

Nicky,  October 27, 2010 at 4:31 PM  

According to someone on Twitter, Jake was in Taylor's dressing room hanging out with her mom whilst she was taping her NBC Thanksgiving special in NYC last night. This isn't going well for Jake, he's lost credibility because it looks like (and probably is) a sloppy PR stunt.

S4M985 October 27, 2010 at 4:36 PM  

Great post PG! Hows it feel being back in the saddle?!

Nicky, you are right, this doesnt sound like its coming off well for Jake. He probably should have thrown a half believable romance in between this one and Reese...

Oh well we have to admit it will be entertaining to see where this all leads...

Anonymous,  October 27, 2010 at 6:42 PM  

I sure hope they`re just 2 friends hanging out because the idea of them dating is creeping me out. She looks and sounds like a 16 year old!

I`ve been reading the gossip sites and if Jake`s doing this for publicity, he should fire whoever came up with this plan because it`s making him look really bad.

I wonder what would be worst? Jake looking totally pussy whipped with Reese (God I hated those years!!) or looking like a pervert with Taylor Swift... *sigh*

PG, I`m really sorry about your friend. I can`t even imagine how you must feel.

Olympia

Prophecy Girl October 27, 2010 at 6:54 PM  

Wow, unanimous agreement! That's unprecedented. :)

gyllenhaalisgr8, you're right, they are not engaged! How funny that not being engaged was worthy of an US Weekly cover story...

I think what irritates me the most is that it's all banking on Taylor's fame. If she wasn't famous, I doubt he'd even talk to her. If she wasn't *this* famous, he wouldn't keep being seen with her. It's such a cynical move, and for it to come now, after he spent all summer actually causing some of us concern over how overgrown and reclusive he was being, it just seems so fake. When he does things like this, it flies in the face of his independent, indie-boy image, and that was always one of the best things he had going for him in terms of distinguishing him as unique.

Then again, if I was running the PR campaign, a lot more than just this would change... ;)

Lola,  October 27, 2010 at 6:58 PM  

LOL, olympia thats so true. Man i'm so pissed at Jake right now this is not what i want him to be doing. Why can't he ever listen to my advice:) I don't want Jake to become tabloid fodder. The 9 year age difference is strange, but the fact that she acts like a 14 year old is what really creeps me out. Jake is a grown ass man I can't believe he would want to be friends with her little lown date her.

Lola,  October 27, 2010 at 7:24 PM  

Oops, i forgot to say PG i'm real sorry about your friend. I lost my Grandma, who practically raised me when i was a kid, two years ago and when ever i think about her it still hurts.

Nicky,  October 27, 2010 at 7:36 PM  

I just find it creepy that he's hanging out with someone who has the physical and emotional aspects of a 15yr old girl. I'm starting the think he's a tad wierd but I'm not sure why.

The word for today is...repulsive,  October 28, 2010 at 9:58 AM  

I SO hate that I'm agreeing with a lot of what you're saying! This was so unnecessary for Jake. LAOD's going to be a hit.
He didn't need to do this. Plus most of her fans aren't old enough to see the movie!

He needs to fire whoever thought this was a good "strategy." It's disgusting.

I'd rather see him with some skank he loves, than participating in this crap. And she needs to get her teeth fixed and lose those extensions. They're just a little bit too country.

Call Me Mo October 28, 2010 at 1:16 PM  

I like fifteenth what everyone else said. PG hit it right on the nose. =]

Anonymous,  October 28, 2010 at 3:03 PM  

This whole thing is so disappointing. I always thought Jake was one of the most genuine people in Hollywood, a rare commodity in that town. That's why I always liked him so much. Now this? Really? Jake... oh, Jake.... what have you become???

Nicky,  October 28, 2010 at 3:51 PM  

It looks as though the tweet I mentioned about Jake hanging out in Taylor's dressing room has made the gossip sites. FWIW, I think the guy made it up and Hollwood Life have gotten hold of it and are just embellishing the story even more. No one saw Jake on the night, no one mentioned him anywhere. If he had been around, someone else would have spotted him and tweeted it. This is such a lazy PR stunt, no one is really trying very hard to come up with anything remotely convincing so far. I don't even feel bad for Jake because he chose to be complicit in all of this. I wonder if his family are in on it as well?

NoSuchAngel October 28, 2010 at 4:42 PM  

"the report from the ground level is that you're losing us on all counts, and this isn't doing you any favors..."
LMAO!! And SO true!!! Post sentiment echoed...on all accounts!!!!!!

Megan October 28, 2010 at 6:42 PM  

Good grief, Becks. That's all I can say...

Prophecy Girl October 28, 2010 at 7:35 PM  

YAY, MEGAN! I'm all about laying it on the line these days. :)

Except the thing is, out of everyone he's been linked to recently, Taylor actually makes the most sense. At the risk of offending people...er...the maturity gap might not be all that huge... *ducks*

But the point right now is that it looks tacky and this was clearly done in a very calculated way, so...PR FAIL. :( And I'm with Nicky on this being really sloppily done. I still can't get over the apple picking. It's like someone thought, 'Hey, it's fall! What's the most cliched-yet-wholesome autumnal scenario we could stick them in?' Watching this play out is kind of like reading bad fanfiction...

Lola,  October 28, 2010 at 9:00 PM  

well, i haven't heard anything about them since the weekend, and that thing about visiting her at nbc sounds a little off to me. If he did there would have been more tweets/reports confirming it, and also photos. I mean lately she can't go anywhere without being photographed. So hopefully this was what people.com said about them just hanging out together.

Anonymous,  October 28, 2010 at 9:02 PM  

Not so sure Becky, if this is PR driven they forgot one thing: Jake and Taylor was spotted early Saturday in Poughkeepsie NY at a Whole Mart. It was a tweet and a FB sighting, at first I thought it was BS but the farm where they were picking apples is 20 minutes from Poughkepsie. I thoigh that it was odd that the rags didn't add that part, it sure sounds a lot better than picking apples.

What I want to know is who owns the place in Poughkeepsie? Taylor or Jake?

Megan October 29, 2010 at 8:59 AM  

Oh, my sigh was aimed at Jake for being so...so...disappointingly Hollywood. Did you ever see the 30 Rock where Jenna has a fake PR relationship with James Franco? You just called it like it is : ). I can't believe Taylor's people allowed her to do this.

Prophecy Girl October 29, 2010 at 9:46 AM  

YES, I LOVED that 30 Rock! (And I'm glad your sigh was aimed at Jake and not me for being militant about writing all this out.) I mean seriously, I wish I could say I was surprised, but this is totally the direction he's been headed in for a while... Ugh.

As for the grocery store, THAT would have been the angle to cover! Back to the sloppiness of it all... I mean, the thing is, you take these two, push them out the door and have them do some stuff together, and someone's bound to catch them at something. And I guess that's more my point than anything else...it doesn't really matter if there's anything legitimate to the relationship. They're trying to get caught (because if they weren't, they wouldn't have been caught). This is coming from absolutely nowhere and there have been a hell of a lot of sightings really, really suddenly and both individuals have a reason to want their name in the news right now. And even if they're just hanging out...NOW they become friends?! There's no way this timing is a coincidence...

Vanessa October 29, 2010 at 9:57 AM  

Check it out PG, TS was taped on Ellen Degeneres yesterday to air on Monday & everyone is already reporting that Ellen totally mentioned her & Jake in NYC. & TS did not confirm or deny supposedly. I love Ellen, but never get the chance to watch her show, so I think I may have to on Monday just to watch TS's reaction & body language when asked about it. ^_^

Prophecy Girl October 29, 2010 at 10:03 AM  

OH HO! The plot thickens. :) By the time Jake makes his rounds, people will be frothing at the mouth. Alright then, Monday should be interesting...

Vanessa October 29, 2010 at 10:11 AM  

You got that right, everyone already is frothing at the mouth & there is no real evidence or confirmation that they are having a real relationship. They just hung out over the weekend is what has been stated so far. PopSugar already posted pap pics of Jake at LAX yesterday on his cell phone & mentioned them, (you watch, the next thing we'll see online is that Jake was talking to his new GF). Soooo moronic, the media is. But it works really well, everyone is talking about them both when they are each trying to promote something. Eh. So not impressed. >;-P

Sasha,  October 29, 2010 at 10:35 AM  

ups I thought it was all said and done ... *sigh* I really wonder why they are doing this stunt??? I mean this is the movie with the best critics (from all over the place since a long time - afaik),
It was def not a must to get some attention to Jake... *stupidppl*

sorry for being stupid - again ...
what do you mean here PG
Except the thing is, out of everyone he's been linked to recently, Taylor actually makes the most sense. At the risk of offending people...er...the maturity gap might not be all that huge... *ducks*

Prophecy Girl October 29, 2010 at 11:07 AM  

^^^ I just meant that I could actually see the two of them in a relationship (although probably a short-lived one). :) People talk about Taylor being pretty immature, but Jake seems fairly immature to me himself... (From experience, I know that saying such things about Jake sometimes results in people getting mad at me, so I don't want anyone to be offended...it's just that of all the reasons why this couple is weird, the "maturity gap" wasn't actually one of the things that seemed off to me...)

Anonymous,  October 29, 2010 at 12:59 PM  

I agree, PG! I think Jake has some maturity issues. And, I think this recent stunt just proves that. Your opinions are spot on... All of them!

Lena October 29, 2010 at 4:06 PM  

I just hope this isn't some premature midlife crisis he's having...

Sasha,  October 29, 2010 at 5:09 PM  

oy PG ... #facepalmme ... now that you said it it is so obvious what you meant ... thx for helping my little brain

I really dont know what to say to all that dating rumors n stuff ... I just wait and have a / pr stunts cup of tea I guess

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