Monday, January 10, 2011

BREAKING: People Continue to Find Blurry Subway Pictures of Jake Fascinating


To the blinding joy of mankind as a whole, Jake Gyllenhaal was on a subway one time (last week) and a fellow passenger had the foresight to snap his picture and then share it with the entire internet.

Considering the excitement that picture stirred, it is no wonder that when another picture surfaced mere days later, even those outside of the Jake fan community found it difficult to contain the deep emotion that was stirred by such a riveting sight.


What follows is a sample of actual comments from around the internet about this latest subway pic:

"Ugh. He's doing a pole lean. I hate pole leaners. He's too good to share the pole with others? Does he even realize that he's taking up a good 18" of pole space?  It might be fairly empty so the offense is somewhat dismissed. But still. I hate him more now."

"Ugh . . . take off your sunglasses, you are indoors."

"Oh yes! Oh fucking yes!"

"Oh yes. Oh fucking yes."

Re previous quote:  "Jinx!!" 

"Why haven't we gathered with pitchforks and torches in search of Jake's Brooklyn residence?"

"I would have Taylored myself to make him Swiftly turn his gaze on me."

"I'd Gyll en his haal, that's for sure.

"HE'S SO NORMAL AND PERFECT AND DREAMY."  (Editor's note:  I would agree with one of those adjectives.)

"knows how to pull off a backpack!

"that makes him even sexier than he already is"

"If I had been on that Q train, I would've never gotten off of it for the rest of my life."

"Hot and cool at the same time. Mmmm. But he looks so vulnerable and exposed doing this. [...] I get the feeling there's something going on with Jake--soul searching, healing wounds, that kind of thing. A lot of his contemporaries (Ryan Gosling, Natalie Portman, James Franco, Michelle Williams) are doing really well, in big films, with nominations and awards. Maybe there's some professional jealousy or career confusion going on."

"Couldn't someone have the decency to get up and give him their seat? What is wrong with this city."

"Sweet backpack, loser!"

Re previous quote:  "Yeah man, look at that fucking piece of shit nerd using that sensible portable device to carrying objects in without opening himself up to the possibility of spinal curvature. What a total asshole."

"I just let out an audible gasp, and now I'm really mad that I missed this."

"lol at bum sleeping next to him, oblivious to the sex god casually standing inches away from him."

"i'm starting a fan club for the 'guy in the yellow hoodie'"

"I might've fainted if i was there..."

"the sunglasses give it away..."

"Why is he wearing that stupid man suit?"

"you all need a life "

Sources:  one, two, three, four, five, six, seven  (There are over 2 million results when you Google "jake gyllenhaal subway."  Things such as this are the reason why, in the early days, I assumed that the news that I had written a book featuring him would spread quickly.  But no.  Absolutely nothing.  One blurry subway picture, though?  GOLD.)

32 comments:

joelliea January 10, 2011 at 10:26 AM  

L-O-L.

That's all I can say about the pics, the comments about the pics, and to your absolutely amusing post.

Vanessa January 10, 2011 at 10:30 AM  

LMFAO!!! I especially like the next to last comment, "Why is he wearing that stupid man suit?" Perfect.

Great post, PG. & I think I totally want to chime in with the last comment, "you all need a life ". ^_^

Monica January 10, 2011 at 10:46 AM  

Very funny, PG!

I love the first photo!

coffeecat January 10, 2011 at 11:37 AM  

Perhaps you should post a blurry picture of your book on the internet?

phoebe,  January 10, 2011 at 2:11 PM  

LMAO! Most awesome thing ever.

Call Me Mo January 10, 2011 at 2:46 PM  

How can somebody possibly gather that he's "soul searching" from damn picture?! All I see is a guy leaning against a pole messing on his phone. Not much else to it. People are something else.

Sasha,  January 10, 2011 at 3:45 PM  

L O L

Ok I know it's bad but I kinda like those subway pictures ... so beautifully not glamorous :)

Monica January 10, 2011 at 4:11 PM  

Call Me Mo, agree with you.

Becky Heineke January 10, 2011 at 7:47 PM  

I third your sentiment, Mo! Like somehow this one, out of focus subway picture has given us a glimpse into his soul. Dear. God.

I have to say the one that made me actually laugh out loud was the guy defending Jake's use of a backpack (!!!). HAHAHA people are ridiculous.

(CC - COMMENT WIN. :D)

KD,  January 10, 2011 at 10:15 PM  

BIGGEST PET PEEVE - WEARING SUNGLASSES INSIDE.

Nothing Really Matters January 12, 2011 at 7:12 AM  

Darling this is fab!

Here's me thinking I had an eye problem or had one to many Gins!

britpopbaby,  January 26, 2011 at 2:04 PM  

LOVE.

Obviously my favourite comment is the second to last.

Linna,  January 29, 2011 at 1:53 PM  

LMFAO! HOW did I miss this post?! Seriously, what kind of a blog reader am I?! Shame on me.

Hilarious is the only way to put it. Soul searching. Indeed.

And yes, you'd think a book about him would be some competition for the blurry subway pics. Maybe people don't think they'll be able to see his soul as well in your book as they apparently do in his subway rides? What the hell do I know? - except for what's been established by your quoted comments; people are wierd.

BeautifulMess74 March 24, 2011 at 7:27 AM  

I think coffee cat is right. A blurry pic of your book in the subway w/sunglasses on and a stupid man suit on, would tots do the trick. Oh and don't forget the sensible backpack--gotta protect that paperback spine, after all.

Anonymous,  June 14, 2013 at 5:03 AM  

They tend to form again on any part of the body, even though they
are eradicated. In the point in the skin tag closest to the surrounding
skin, cut it off with sharp scissors. Rubbing a
slice of potato on the wart for 30 minutes and doing this twice a day can help remove the wart as well.


Feel free to surf to my web site ... skin tag remover

Unknown January 1, 2015 at 4:39 AM  

F1 Japanese Grand Prix at the French Cheap Louis Vuitton Handbags driver suffered serious head injuries ugg australia Jules - Bianchi already breathing on his own, but he did not recover ugg pas cher consciousness. Yesterday, the Bianchi family released Discount Louis Vuitton the above message."The difficulty of this year will soon be over, and we would like to take this opportunity to update the Cheap LV Handbags injury situation Jules again, telling those who care about his Christian Louboutin Bois Dore fans," Bianchi's family wrote in a statement."Last month, we are very pleased that we Bags Louis Vuitton are able to Jules back discount christian louboutin home in ugg soldes France, cheap jordans so that friends and family around him christian louboutin shoes to continue his recovery, which he is very important for us also.""Jules neurological status did not change, he was unconscious, but has been able to breathe without ugg boots the help of an external device, we have christian louboutin remise 50% taken many measures to help him recover properly. We wholesale jordan shoes know he will, medical professionals have begun According to the plan to help him, but the process is very hard. ""When we uggs on sale look back on the event discount nike jordans happened in the past few months, we would like once again to cheap christian louboutin the outside world for the Discount LV Handbags care of ugg our son thanked this matter to our families brought christian louboutin great challenges, but we know Air Jordan 11 Gamma Blue that there are so many people in uggs outlet the world around Christian Louboutin Daffodile to help us through. We also want to thank our family during this time to bring cheap nike jordan shoes support for the media, for which we are very grateful.

Post a Comment

Search This Blog

  © Blogger template Simple n' Sweet by Ourblogtemplates.com 2009

Back to TOP