Saturday, August 28, 2010

Forget Bilson, It's This Amy Bitch We Need to Worry About

What the HELL was going on during the taping of a Disney Channel Prince of Persia DVD ad (that showed up online yesterday)?  And no, I'm not talking about wherever your mind might have gone when you looked at the above picture (you dirty, dirty people); I'm talking about this chick:

This is Amy.  She's 2 years old and loves rainbows and Jake Gyllenhaal.  Watch below as the most grotesquely age-inappropriate advertising ploy in the history of children's television plays out before a visibly-uncomfortable Jake:

You know how we talked about it being disturbing when adults call Justin Bieber "sexy"?  THIS IS THE REVERSE OF THAT.  For Disney to be selling this PG-13-rated movie to elementary school kids through the gimmick of telling young girls that 29-year-old Jake Gyllenhaal is crush-worthy is WOW-SO-CREEPY.  (When I was a kid, they saved the sex appeal angle at least until we were old enough to have a locker combination!)

I know, Jake.  I don't know how you get yourself into these situations, either...

(Here endeth my tirade.)


Mel.,  August 28, 2010 at 12:02 PM  

Clearly she's posing a problem. Creepy acted-out interview....that's my domain. (i kid, i kid...sorta). I was tired of reading Bilson crap on twitter......ANNOYING. Luckily the rep, and facial hair say that is isn't so.


Sasha,  August 28, 2010 at 12:03 PM  

LOOOL --- so true PG ... I'll never get how a little girl / teenager can crush on a grown up (Jake being quite 30 and Jared as another example being quite 40) AND def not to mention the sexy thing ... not even as a teenager I would have gone anyway near a 30 or more so a 40 year old whoever ... NEVER

Guess I'm getting old ;) lol

Sasha,  August 28, 2010 at 12:04 PM  

Ups posting same time ... erm I must have missed something on twitter ... ?

Phoebe,  August 28, 2010 at 12:26 PM  

Uhm. One word:


No wait. Two words:


On the upside, though, Jake looks pretty damn fine!

Mel,  August 28, 2010 at 12:45 PM  

Just lots of random Bilson/Gyllenhaal "dating" comments courtesy of Perez Hilton mis-information. Supposedly his rep says it's "not true."

Looks like we have bigger fish to fry with this pre-tween creeper. :) haha

gyllenhaalisgr8 August 28, 2010 at 1:21 PM  

Gads -- she's not even creepy, she's tween creepy. And who does the makeup at Disney, Mimi from the Drew Carey Show? "I love you, Jake Gyllenhaal!"? She should have her mouth washed out with Drain-O! (Was that a bit much?)

Sasha,  August 28, 2010 at 1:30 PM  

oh well ... thx for the update mel :D

Becky Heineke August 28, 2010 at 1:45 PM  

Yeah, this video in general just gives me the creeps, although I have to agree with Phoebe about Jake looking good in it. ;) It's things like the Disney Channel that make me perpetually scared for the youth of America (and the world)...

gyllenhaalisgr8, that was no more over the line than me calling her a bitch in the headline. ;D WELCOME BACK! It's great to see you (or at least your name + avatar)!! :D

Dani August 28, 2010 at 1:49 PM  


How old is she? 8? 9? 10?
She is a 4 year old acting all cutely and crushing all over Jake and it would have been fun if she were ten years older but come on! What The French Toast?!
It's not even real. Tweens don't crush on hot guys like that, so fake.

I guess she will grow up and become a Disney star in no time. He already does own the Hannah Montana style of annoying.

Nothing Really Matters August 28, 2010 at 2:18 PM  

I'm scared now! Justin beaver would have been a better crush!

Anonymous,  August 28, 2010 at 3:04 PM  

that was kinda creepy to me too. I was waiting for her to ask for his phone # so she could ask him out on a date (or maybe show him she has some condoms ready. PLEASE!)

she should stick with Justin B


Sasha,  August 28, 2010 at 3:29 PM  

Same here PG - I'm really worried ... I'm so happy my nieces don't show any of such disturbing behaviour ... (they are 6 and 9)
but it worries me a lot how girls grow up these days ... I dont even know how to express it in english ... it's just not right (IMHO)

Becky Heineke August 28, 2010 at 4:28 PM  

HA! Condoms!! It's funny because it's not that far from the truth!

Sasha, you said it perfectly...I know exactly where you're coming from. If I happen to walk through the girls' clothing section at a store, I usually wind up shocked at these "sexy" clothes they're selling to kids these days. I have a lot of respect for parents with kids in that age range who are able to let their children be children and keep them removed from this "mini-adult" stuff.

(Sidenote: I hope KD does not hate all of us for anything we may have said about age gaps, for she is the exception to all rules. ;))

Voulez Vouz August 28, 2010 at 5:12 PM  

First let me say that I am soooo glad to be back. Due to horrible circumstances (Stupid family road trip. NO ELECTRONICS! *gasp*), I have been unable to comment on the hawtness that is Jake G.

Secondly...I say we all hunt down this little vixen and eliminate our biggest competition. She's clearly infatuated with him and if it weren't creepy, I'd admire her technique. My younger sister is 13 and she hasn't even looked Jake's way. (That time will come very soon. Hello?! She is my sister...)

Anonymous,  August 28, 2010 at 5:15 PM  

I'm always the black sheep everywhere..sigh...

Alright, the kid is annoying and yes the fangirling is disturbing, but I remember fangirling like that over Leo DiCaprio when I was 11 years old so... I can't judge.

I was always actually attracted to older guys, I really don't get yougsters these days who swoon over Bieber. When I was entering puberty we were all swooning over Leo, Jared Leto, Heath Ledger, etc. who granted were like 10 years older than us girlies then, but we didn't care, they were hot.

So creepy annoying Disney kid, can't really blame you, haha.

Lola,  August 28, 2010 at 6:31 PM  

First off let me say that when i saw these pictures on IHJ of this girl i was hoping you would do a post on it, and that first picture is hilarious i would have never looked at that pic that way. And i agree with lena as a seventeen year old all the hot guys by default are much older than me, but I would never lust after a 40 year old thats too old. It is a little creepy to think that I started to like Jake when I was 13, but as an excuse I think I matured faster than normal. Oh also KD are you also younger like me? That would be awesome I won't be the only one.

Leslie August 28, 2010 at 6:55 PM  

This video isn't what's creepy - picturing adults directing this little girl on how to act and what to say . . now THAT'S creepy.

sumi k August 28, 2010 at 7:27 PM  

now that ive returned from my silkwood-esque shower after viewing that, i just wanted to thank that predatory little girl for giving us the term: "chillin with gyllen"!

KD,  August 28, 2010 at 9:30 PM  

I'm irrationally jealous of Leo. I wish I could interview Jake Gyllenhaal! I'd definitely ask him some more interesting questions than about the same old stuff.

KD,  August 28, 2010 at 9:31 PM  

Sasha - I'm a teenager and I crush on all sorts of middle aged men. I see no problem in it! :)

KD,  August 28, 2010 at 9:34 PM  

@ PG - no offense taken! I get that it's a strange phenomena. I'm just living it like it is. ;D

@ Lola - Yes I am young! Prime of my teens, 16! Whhooohhhooo~ You too?

Vanessa August 28, 2010 at 10:01 PM  

Well hell, girlies, I was similar when I was EXTREMELY young. I was crushing on Sean Connery when he was James Bond when I was.......

WAIT FOR IT.....................

TEN YEARS OLD! OK, that even creeps me out today when I think about it now. ^_^

& I so love it that we have such a range of ages here that can share all that Gyllenlove. Hah.

& KD, Lola, & Lena, I so love it that you all are so fun, funny, & intelligent. I don't mean to say other teens are not, but you all don't act like silly twits which is very refreshing. >;-)

Vanessa August 28, 2010 at 10:07 PM  

PG, I totally forgot to say this post truly cracked me up. That 1st picture is oh so lurid. But then that's MY dirty mind for ya. >;-)

Thanks for making my day once again!

KD,  August 28, 2010 at 10:15 PM  

Aww, Vanessa thanks so much. I don't really mind the stereotype though. It just gives us sane(although this too is questionable)teens something to prove wrong! Not all teens are absentminded!

Anonymous,  August 28, 2010 at 10:29 PM  

Gahhh! My heart goes out to him.
Shilling your DVDs for Disney has to be bottom of his list.

Lola,  August 28, 2010 at 11:32 PM  

@KD yeah, I just turned 17 on monday I'll be finishing my last year of high school this school year WHOO-HOO, I can't wait!

KD,  August 29, 2010 at 2:23 AM  

@Lola: Nice! Congrats. I'm a junior right now, 16 currently.

Sasha,  August 29, 2010 at 5:52 AM  

I didn't want to offend anyone - I'm sorry if I did.

I only tried to express my feelings about very young girls crushing on "old men".

I might be a little over-sensitive but since I watched a documentary that had to with men and childabuse and their excuses it's killing me to see how young (not even teenage) girls are dressed these day and wearing make up.

Again I'm sorry - I guess it's a generation thing ...I'm in the early thirties - so todays teenager and little girls could all be mine :D

CigarattesAndCoffee August 29, 2010 at 7:05 AM  

@KD, @Lola
I'm seventeen too! I didn't take offence to any of the comments, I guess it just proves there are exceptions to every rule!

Becky Heineke August 29, 2010 at 10:44 AM  

I looked the girl up and she's actually 11 (which is a good 3 years older than I thought she was!). But that still puts Jake at almost 3 times her age.

I side with Leslie on this one...I guess it's less that Amy, herself, might find him cute, and more that she's a child actress being paid and directed to say these things, and to say them so that other little girls who are Amy's age will think the same thing. It's such a cynical marketing ploy! And so anti-everything-Jake-seems-to-stand-for...

Oh, and I think the girl who coined the phrase "With Jake Gyllenhaal I wanna be chillin' y'all" should totally sue. ;D

I love that we've got a great age range of's the generation-defying power of Gylls! :D I also love that we can take a dumb Disney Channel commercial and turn it into a civil conversation about Age and the Celebrity Ideal. Dammit if Jake fans just aren't always so smart... ;)

KD,  August 29, 2010 at 12:04 PM  

@Sasha - no offense taken. It's not big deal, really. People have opinions. All's good! :)

@CigarettesandCoffee - WELCOME TO THE GIRL, GIRL. Although technically I'm still the youngest one here...LOL

@PG - I agree with you and Leslie. That's why I didn't comment about her slightly disturbing way of showing her affections. She works for the studio who's main object is to attract younger views and make the dough. She's probably coached every single step of the way on how to laugh, squeal, freak out, smile, and fangirl.

I don't really think its appropriate/fair to criticize the girl per se. I even think calling her a bitch, although I'm sure its entirely for comical purposes and I appreciate the laugh it gave me, might be a bit extreme. But I'm probably in the minority here. LOL.

KD,  August 29, 2010 at 12:05 PM  

What in the world...I don't even...


Welcome to the CLUB, Girl!*

@PG - Age variety shows signs of a happy and healthy fandom. Jake would be oh so proud!

Becky Heineke August 29, 2010 at 12:29 PM  

Calling her a bitch was unquestionably in bad taste! Which is the main reason why I did it. :) ('Cause I thought the whole thing was in bad taste.) I'm really surprised you were the first person to comment on it because I thought that would definitely offend people. If I thought for a second that what she was saying/doing was genuine, I never would have. But Amy's not her real name and she's not even really that other guy's sister...none of it's real, but then again, neither is my anger at the character she plays. ;) So that was just my statement on how I disapproved of how they were using her...

Wow, when all of you youngsters get to college, you are going to be sooooo ahead of everyone with your media analysis and interpretation!! ;D

Anonymous,  August 29, 2010 at 1:10 PM  

"KD, Lola, & Lena, I so love it that you all are so fun, funny, & intelligent. I don't mean to say other teens are not, but you all don't act like silly twits which is very refreshing."

Haha, well thanks Vanessa, however I'm not a teen, I'm 24 :)
But it's good to know I don't sound like one even when I'm fangirling over Yillenhoolahay like Amy bitch (yes I thought the title was offensive PG, but that only made it funnier, so that's why I-and others I'm sure-didn't comment)

"it's less that Amy, herself, might find him cute, and more that she's a child actress being paid and directed to say these things"

Right on PG, I agree completely there!

Vanessa August 29, 2010 at 2:39 PM  

OMG, Lena, I am SO sorry, I think I misunderstood your comment & assumed you were saying you are under 20 as well. But it's all good, because I love how Gylls can attract ALL generations of adoring fans. Even children. But I completely agree with the above comments about how Disney using a child actress to pimp out Jake. However, I did find the post & title very funny & knew it was meant in fun.

PG, thanks for linking again to that funny video by that comedian. I read that post when I was trying to play catch up a few weeks ago & about died laughing. That is too funny! I had to save that to my favorites on YT. >;-)

Sasha,  August 29, 2010 at 4:02 PM  

I feel like a complete idiot now ...

but well yeah I'm old fashioned I stick up to the fact that kids should be kids ... but I'm just born in the wrong century

Becky Heineke August 29, 2010 at 6:24 PM  

Sasha, if you feel old fashioned then I'm right there with you! Please don't feel stupid...I've agreed with everything you've said and though we might be in the minority, you definitely have an ally in me. ;)

And at least all of us can agree that the thought of a bunch of Disney executives thinking up this campaign is totally creepy...

Vanessa, no problem! That video definitely needs to be revisited whenever possible. :D

Katie,  August 29, 2010 at 7:13 PM  

A tween fan not even old enough to menstruate (sorry for the gross observation, but its true) gushing about rainbows and a 3rd-grade interviewer are harsh in contrast to my adult (I'm 26, guess that qualifies...), considerably less creepy (ha!) infatuation with a man (gasp!) 3 1/2 yrs older than me.

I am so offended!!! Only Jake in his brown shirt seem to make up for it. And his massive amount of game for such embarrassing interviews. Or, perhaps, its his agent's tactful persuasion. How's a girl to know.

But thanks, PG, this off-sets the creepy Robbie Williams video from a couple days ago!! (No offense!! I'm mostly just p-o'd that my computer sasses me just about every time I get on this site now. If I wanna post meaningless, slightly offensive comments about Jake, that should be my prerogative. Just be a computer and do what I tell you to!!)

Katie,  August 29, 2010 at 7:15 PM  

I'm feeling really terrible about my previous comment!! Please retract and delete if possible!!!


Becky Heineke August 29, 2010 at 7:55 PM  

^^^ If you *really* want me to delete it, I will...but I'm lobbying hard for its inclusion based on the all-too-true menstruation part! Eh, we're just going all over the place with opinions on this thread anyway!! :D

And damn your computer for trying to thwart me. Not cool! :(

Katie,  August 29, 2010 at 10:04 PM  

PG, its your website and if you're cool with that being up here than my mortification is thereby cancelled. I was just terrified for how that comment may be received and believe your locker combination analogy was much more appropriate. But I'm all for honesty and after all, its your website, so your opinion is what I'm most concerned about. :)

Katie,  August 29, 2010 at 10:39 PM  

May I just add that I love Jake's expression in the second picture. He clearly finds this (well, Amy) as disturbing an experience as we do. Thank God for that!

Becky Heineke August 29, 2010 at 10:49 PM  

HAHA, I know, right?! There are some of him reacting to her squealing at him that are equally disapproving. In fact, that was almost the angle I took on this post... :D

I'm all for being open and people not feeling censored, so the comment remains! :) Honestly, considering the sometimes-offensive/often-inappropriate things that I write, it'd take a lot before I'd want to delete anything anyone else said. :D

Katie,  August 30, 2010 at 1:27 AM  

I somehow made it through the second viewing (don't ask me how!!) and my previous mortification has returned but is now directed toward the interview. I cringed and immediately pressed pause near the end when Jake, well I don't even know what you'd call it.

coffeecat September 1, 2010 at 11:34 AM  

Only two words: Jail. Bait.

Sophie,  September 1, 2010 at 4:07 PM  

I cant critice because even though im not 11 im not persay an adult maybe im the youngest here i am 14 actually so... i still think not all teens are the same and i usually go for older guys (well not 29) i think jake gyllenhaal is hotter and has more personality and capacity to portrait his own thoughts than justin bieber, jonas brothers and the teilight cast together :)

Becky Heineke September 1, 2010 at 4:43 PM  

^^^ I agree with you on that! But you're getting younger by the minute! You said you were 15 in the other comment! ;D No worries...we don't care about age. Just Jake love! ;)

Becky Heineke September 1, 2010 at 4:45 PM  

Er, and admittedly that probably sounded strange considering the theme of the thread...but I was talking more about you rather than the rest of it! :D

Sophie,  September 1, 2010 at 5:28 PM  

sorry i mean 15 not 14 its just i got confused i turned 15 last week thats why i forgot and wrote 14 ;)

Becky Heineke September 2, 2010 at 3:39 PM  

HA! Totally understandable! :D And a belated Happy Birthday!!

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