Jake Winning Meaningless Internet Poll!

PopSugar, source of envy-inducing meet-and-greets, is currently holding a poll that asks one of the most pressing questions of our time:  "Which Shirtless Star Would You Take to a Fourth of July Beach Party?"  (Voting remains open even though the Fourth of July was three days ago, and beach parties are way passe now that all of the world's sand is covered in oil.)

Here are the options that PopSugar has given us:

A weirdly pale Tom Brady, Jake Gyllenhaal from 2005, a questionably-accessorized Kellan Lutz, the happily married Jay-Z, and Zac Efron, who's not even on a beach.

I would mock the competition more were it not for the fact that PopSugar has already done this work for me:

"His six-pack is a national treasure"?  Dude.  A six-pack of Budweiser is a national treasure.  A six-pack on Zac Efron makes me feel old.  Also, TOTAL washboard reference fail.  You'd clean clothing, not dishes, and neither would I want to wash on Kellan Lutz (no offense Twi-hards).

Anyway, check out Jake cleaning up with this poll!  You go, baby!  And you know what's even better than Jake winning?  The fact that PopSugar's picture choice inspired me to go back and look through that photo set from 2005.

I had something a halfway serious planned for today, but you know what?  It's a hot summer day.  It's the middle of the week.  There's no Jake to be found anywhere...

I think what we need today is to revisit the Maui pictures:

Regardless of what kind of day you're having, I hope it is now better.

Thanks to Call Me Mo for the link!