Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Jake Winning Meaningless Internet Poll!

PopSugar, source of envy-inducing meet-and-greets, is currently holding a poll that asks one of the most pressing questions of our time:  "Which Shirtless Star Would You Take to a Fourth of July Beach Party?"  (Voting remains open even though the Fourth of July was three days ago, and beach parties are way passe now that all of the world's sand is covered in oil.)

Here are the options that PopSugar has given us:

A weirdly pale Tom Brady, Jake Gyllenhaal from 2005, a questionably-accessorized Kellan Lutz, the happily married Jay-Z, and Zac Efron, who's not even on a beach.

I would mock the competition more were it not for the fact that PopSugar has already done this work for me:

"His six-pack is a national treasure"?  Dude.  A six-pack of Budweiser is a national treasure.  A six-pack on Zac Efron makes me feel old.  Also, TOTAL washboard reference fail.  You'd clean clothing, not dishes, and neither would I want to wash on Kellan Lutz (no offense Twi-hards).

Anyway, check out Jake cleaning up with this poll!  You go, baby!  And you know what's even better than Jake winning?  The fact that PopSugar's picture choice inspired me to go back and look through that photo set from 2005.

I had something a halfway serious planned for today, but you know what?  It's a hot summer day.  It's the middle of the week.  There's no Jake to be found anywhere...

I think what we need today is to revisit the Maui pictures:

Regardless of what kind of day you're having, I hope it is now better.

Thanks to Call Me Mo for the link!


Nothing Really Matters July 7, 2010 at 2:04 PM  

That is a good picture set! But using pictures from 2005! WTF?

*cough* I'd vote for Zaz *cough* looks the other way!

Anonymous,  July 7, 2010 at 2:07 PM  

I was laughing wholeheartedly at the sand surfing but then he emerges from water and OH HOLY COW he really can surf...and he's wet...all wet...oh god, wet Jake being silly and childish in the
Have they invented the holodeck yet? So I can upload into it those wet photos of his and Jake around till the sun goes down baby!
AMAZING, am going immediately over to IHJ for those huge wet Jake treasures.
Wet Jake is my new favorite.
God bless you PG.

gyllenhaalisgr8 July 7, 2010 at 2:11 PM  

Geez, I could have given her a great one from last summer at Martha's Vineyard (in fact, I uploaded it to the Martha's Vineyard facebook page!). The second pic makes me chuckle because I had captioned it long ago with, "Do these pants make by balls look big?" should know me by now!

Anonymous,  July 7, 2010 at 2:19 PM  

2005 Jake is just about my favorite Jake ever and those beach pics are totally drool worthy. You didn't use my favorite of him walking on the beach in those blue trunks, though... You are such a classy lady. :D

Did anyone notice how Jake is the only one with chest hair in that poll? How could anyone not vote for that amazing treasure trail?


Vanessa,  July 7, 2010 at 2:35 PM  

Oh Lena, I sooo wholeheartedly agree with your comments on the "wet Jake", mmmmm, yeah baby. it is truly "AMAZING". Jake has that word down, doesn't he??? Ever count how many times he says amazing in his interviews? heehee, he is too much fun. I love having him to play with here at ISJ. Makes my day.

BTW, I found some scrumptious wet Jake photos over at iheartjake that are unbelievably hot that aren't even on the beach. Bless their little Jakey hearts, they sure know how to keep our addictions fed. >;-)

Thanks PG for a great post, that was too funny. I actually went over there & voted after Mo posted the link about Jake's "old ass" picture yesterday. LMAO!

Becky Heineke July 7, 2010 at 2:51 PM  

SOMEDAY, I will stop having an old post of mine to refer back to for every discussion EVER...but today is not that day. ;)

Rules Regarding Photographing Jake in Water

Lena (and anyone else who wants the full set) if you haven't found it already, it's HERE! :)

And Olympia, I thought I was being risque enough with the second pic, but I see now that gyllenhaalisgr8 has (*as always*) made things seem just a little less innocent... :)

Anonymous,  July 7, 2010 at 3:24 PM  

I think the pic you didn't use and the second pic make a great set. I love that blue trunk! :D

I like that you keep referring to old posts, they're fun to revisit. Boy, that has to be the worst pic of Jake ever taken, he's hardly recognisable.


KD,  July 7, 2010 at 4:03 PM  

All those pictures of Jake on the beach makes me question this questionably cold Southern Californian weather we are having...

What happened to my Californian sun? ):

Gotta say though, Zac would be my second choice.


Unknown July 7, 2010 at 4:07 PM  

Hahahahaha, as usual, PG, you make my day :)

Hahaha, Lena, my thoughts exactly!
Yeah, I'm kind of surprised that they used such an old picture (I guess they wanted to give the other guys SOME kind of a chance to win... If they posted a more recent one.... well... lets just say every single vote would go to him.. :) )
but it DOESN"T surprise me that he is won, or is winning.. How can you resist him?

Anonymous,  July 7, 2010 at 4:12 PM  

Oh thank you PG for that JW link! The Rules Regarding Photographing Jake In Water is SMASHING, SMASHING, SMASHING!!

Becky Heineke July 7, 2010 at 4:23 PM  

*whispers* Yeah, my second place vote would be for Zac too!

You wanna see the Jake Watch post for him?


Sam July 7, 2010 at 4:40 PM  

It is friggan cold here today, but that warmed me through and through :)

How did i miss this poll? Usually im right onto these things- Go Gylls!

The wet JW post, is, genius!!!

Anonymous,  July 7, 2010 at 5:42 PM  

"Winner: Jake, but only because I'm making Jake the winner in all the categories."


gyllenhaalisgr8 July 7, 2010 at 6:43 PM  

Pic #7 is one of my VISA cards! :-)

gyllenhaalisgr8 July 7, 2010 at 8:14 PM  

Your Jake-Zackoff was perfect, as usual. You never cease to amaze me, PG! And nothing EVER will beat the Santa Dance (I think I speak for everyone here, LOL!). You are a treasure! P.S. Check out the FINAL Naked Jake (I've been very distracted lately)!

Katie,  July 7, 2010 at 11:59 PM  

You all make fantastic points. And I agree that wet Jake+hot blue swim trunks=Happy Happy Katie

And can I just say that our Jakey has the cutest calves/knees ever to...well ever. They're obviously toned and trim but they're just so cute. Not sticky or grotesquely muscular. Gosh what's there not to love?!?

gyllenhaalisgr8 July 8, 2010 at 7:23 AM  

It's all good, Katie, it's ALL GOOD!

Anonymous,  July 8, 2010 at 9:05 AM  

Hahaha, yeah it is ALL good.

They should clone him. Or freeze him for posterity. That DNA combo must be preserved.

Call Me Mo July 8, 2010 at 10:28 AM  

Oh wow. I knew the pic was old but I didn't realize 2005 old. I wonder why didn't they use the one from last summer?

Becky Heineke July 8, 2010 at 3:14 PM  

^^^ THIS. Not that I don't enjoy the 2005 set, but when you've got an equally compelling photo from a few months ago, that's just crazy. I almost posted the pics from last year too, but then I rationalized that shirtless Jake can and should be spread over more than one post. :)

coffeecat July 10, 2010 at 1:58 PM  

I want to be at the beach. Seriously. Right now. I wanna dip in the ocean and lay on the hot sand. Really.

Gretchen Fucking Ross,  September 20, 2010 at 12:35 AM  

Kennan Lutz is not sexy at all. Because he reminds me of this creepy older "new student" who I charitably gave my number to once, not realizing he was hitting on me. Worst decision ever.

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