Friday, September 3, 2010

Jake Gyllenhaal Wants You to Buy This Book


Chapter 1:  Hey, Remember When Brokeback Mountain Didn’t Win the Oscar for Best Picture? Because I Do.

Chapter 2:  Your Crash Course in Gyllenhaal, or The Least You Need to Know about Jake to Understand This Book*

Chapter 3:  Jake Watch Was Not My Creation; I Just Attached Myself to It with Leech-Like Enthusiasm.

Chapter 4:  The Saga of Stephen, Father of Jake

Chapter 5:  Never Sit Too Close to the Stage at an Opera …

Chapter 6:  … It Spoils the Illusion.

Chapter 7:  Babygate

Chapter 8:  Well, After All That, What the Hell Are We Going to Do for Jake’s Birthday?

Chapter 9:  The Dastardly Uncle Jack Nasty and Other Fake Jake Stories**

Chapter 10:  Zodiac: A Disaster on Many Levels (For Me, It Was Personal)

Chapter 11:  “I Think Jake Would Smell Sort of Like Apples,” and How That Quote Relates to the Business of Selling T-Shirts

Chapter 12:  This Chapter is Basically Just Susie and Me Working through Some Shit

Chapter 13:  Toronto? Oh, Wow. Okay.

Chapter 14:  A Conversation (Assign to It Whatever Meaning You’d Like)

Chapter 15:  Five Conveniently Timed Ending-Signaling Things 

Chapter 16:  It’s All about Learning, A.K.A. The Obligatory Epilogue-Like Chapter


Available in paper or plastic!

(Typical.  I spend the entire summer with everything behind schedule and then the one time I have a defined time period, we jump way ahead.  Seriously, Amazon.  THE DAY AFTER I put up the notice about it being two to three weeks you put me on your site?!)

(This is the first of several thousand posts about this book, because we're going global with this bitch.)

* This "chapter" is less than a page in length.  You don't have to know much of anything about Jake to understand the book.

** This chapter is a very different and much improved version of the one that appeared in the 2008 edition of Cantaraville Summer.  On the off chance that you read that version, don't judge based on that! :)


Vanessa September 3, 2010 at 11:54 AM  

Whoo-hoo!!! I just ordered my paperback! Too bad I don't have a Kindle, but that's OK, I can hang with the old school way of reading for now. I am still holding out for the newest E book to hit the market that looks like it will outdo iPad. Plus I am cash poor at the moment...

Ah such is life, eh? >;-)

Nothing Really Matters September 3, 2010 at 1:06 PM  

OMG! Congratulations darling! Kisses and all that jazz!

Becky Heineke September 3, 2010 at 1:09 PM  

Thank you, NRM!! *muah*

I am e-reader-less myself, Vanessa. :) And THANK YOU!

And thanks to everyone who's bought a copy so far!! I should have said that earlier...I'm all scattered today! So THANK YOU!!!

I'm actually somewhat nervous because no Jake fans have read it yet. NONE (!). It's all been non-Jake fans, and while the book is written to a broad general audience and there are all sorts of things in it to relate to, you guys will know best of all what I went through. So I'm really, really excited to talk about this with everyone, and my only hope is that you enjoy reading it! :D

Anonymous,  September 3, 2010 at 1:30 PM  

I just ordered it!!! :-D

OK, I have to breathe for a bit...

I can't believe this day is finally here! Can you? Your book is out - this is SO huge. Congrats sweetie, I'm so happy for you *tons and tons of hugs*


Vanessa September 3, 2010 at 1:47 PM  

PG, let me step back a sec here & offer my huge congrats as well, sorry I was SO excited earlier about ordering it, I completely forgot that part!!!


CigarattesAndCoffee September 3, 2010 at 1:49 PM  

Omg I have been waiting for this! It's all so exciting :) congratulations PG on finally getting published!

Anonymous,  September 3, 2010 at 1:59 PM  

Those chapter descriptions sound very interesting. Congratulations on getting published, I'm so happy for you! :)


Call Me Mo September 3, 2010 at 2:04 PM  

It's so exciting to read! I actually look at my work phone in disdain when it rings. Like who would dare even think to interrupt my reading. What a nuisance these people are. ;] PG, you are amazing!

Phoebe,  September 3, 2010 at 2:08 PM  

Eeeeeeee!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! I am sooo excited! *claps hands* And I just ordered it!!! :-D

I am SO proud of and happy for you, my friend!! *hugs you tight*

KeepCalm September 3, 2010 at 2:45 PM  

CONGRATS!!!! I am so so soooo happy for you right now. I've told like all my family and friends to buy this book.

Please tell me I can get it in the UK? Or is it just the US at the moment?

Again, well done. I'll send you some Pimms ;)

Anonymous,  September 3, 2010 at 2:49 PM  

congratulations! I am very happy for you. Jake is too! (well if he only knew about it I'm sure he would be :D)


DKBB September 3, 2010 at 3:05 PM  

Wow, PG! Congrats! I'd buy one from Amazon, but I want it autographed by the author, hon!

Karolina September 3, 2010 at 3:31 PM  

Congrats! I'm so happy for you! :)

Becky Heineke September 3, 2010 at 4:22 PM  

Autographed copies are coming!! Believe it or not, I still have to approve the hard copy (why has it not arrived yet?!) and then go through the process of ordering a bulk shipment for myself, and THEN I can start selling them myself and writing in them!

But it could be a month or more before I'm set up for that, so that's my advance warning on the time frame. :-/

I'm also willing to ship books back and forth if anyone wants to buy one (or has already bought one) and wants me to sign it later. :)

Your reactions are making me even more excited!!! Thank you so, so much for your enthusiasm and your congratulations. And thank you KeepCalm for helping me pimp this baby! You should be able to order it now from anywhere, although if anyone has any problems, just e-mail me ( and I can give you the link to order it directly from the publisher. ;)

(Mo, I am going to restrain from asking you how far along you are, even though it's kind of killing me, because if I start that, I'll be pestering you constantly. :))

Anonymous,  September 3, 2010 at 5:25 PM  

I've never posted anything before, but my Kindle app tells me that I'm 40% through the book, and I'm feeling inspired. It's super great! Congrats!

Sam September 3, 2010 at 5:46 PM  

OMG firstly, you're right we all forgot this in the previous post...

CONGRATULATIONS PG! I just love how it's got your name plastered all over Amazon... YOU ARE AN AUTHOR! THAT IS SOOOO COOL! Book signings here you come!!!

SECODNLY- Damn me for not buying that Kindle earlier on in the year And damn living so far away!... Does this mean im not going to be able to read JW until i get it because of spoilers? PG, maybe you need a forum dedicated just to the book (jodi Picoult has them) so people can discuss it...i can imagine there will be lots of discussing going on.

Anon and Call me Mo- How is it?! *SQUEEE*

Call Me Mo September 3, 2010 at 6:19 PM  

Sam: It's, what's the word? Hmm. Well, AMAZING!! :D

Becky Heineke September 3, 2010 at 6:27 PM  

Mo and anon are in a tie right now for Comment Today That Made Me Feel The Best About Life. :)

And anon, if you're at the 40% point (WOW!!!), then all I'll say is more hysteria ahead. I'm so glad you're enjoying it!!

Sam, I've been thinking about a forum! It's been on my mind for a while with all the crazy off-topic conversations we have in the comments, so it'd be great to have a general place to talk about the book and also Jake, too. I have a feeling that people will be wanting to discuss both when they're done reading... ;)

Vanessa September 3, 2010 at 6:54 PM  

OH YES, YES, YES, PLEASE MAKE A FORUM, PG!!! That would be such an excellent idea! & much easier to discuss the book (& Jake of course), imho.

O.M.G. I am going insane now that I know I have to wait until next Friday at the earliest to read it. Damn the free shipping. I am so cheap, I wouldn't spring for overnight & the free shipping takes like FOREVER. So, OK, I am just gonna have to deal while the rest of you lucky ducks that already have it know what is IN IT! Geez. >:-(

Dani September 3, 2010 at 7:02 PM  

The book is real?! This place is so out of it -and yet so reasonable- the I totally believed the book was some kind of joke.
Congrats!!! I am proud. I am like a proud Mama (T__T)

Anonymous,  September 3, 2010 at 7:57 PM  


I was laughing at your comments about awkwardness between Jake blogs. I only know three - WDW, You and Gyllenbabble. You and WDW are as lovely as each other :) but Gyllenbabble..i never seemed to say the right thing over there, so i stopped visiting. I started a blog purely for Source Code, but i dont know how it happened, one of my posts got spread round the internet realllllly quickly. I clearly credited WDW for the picture and scan, but all the websites credited me! :O I think i may stop now, i feel really bad, it was WDW's news. :S I did ask permission to post it, but these people dont read 8-) Scary.


Anonymous,  September 3, 2010 at 8:51 PM  

Congratulations Prophecy Girl!!!

I've got to have The Book!


KD,  September 3, 2010 at 10:48 PM  



I will order mine as soon as soon you get a bulk copy. I want a signature from PG, I'm a whore like that. ;D YOUR FAMOUS AFTER ALL NOW.

At Silver: I never comment at Gyllenbabble either. I commented once and someone had a really snide remark, so I just stopped reading. Plus this blog is WAY more hilarious. I read WDW sometimes as well! :)

Call Me Mo September 4, 2010 at 12:43 AM  

So, Prophecy Girl! YOU just became a published author! What are you going to do NOW?!

Becky Heineke September 4, 2010 at 8:09 AM  

^^^ Right now...I'm going back to sleep! :D And then in a few hours I'm going to my 10-year high school reunion. Check out that timing! I went from "unemployed and single" to "look me up on Amazon, bitches" in under 24 hours! :)

D, your comment cracked me up but is totally understandable since half the time I just make things up! HA!

And Silver, actual book quote from page 139, "The problem with following our Mr. Gyllenhaal, a private celebrity as far as celebrities go, was that he bred inherent competition among his fansites." It was true then and it's true now. Gyllenbabble is especially clique-ish, though, and I'm not going to pretend I wasn't hurt when I saw so many former readers over there who have never once commented here. As for the credit...shit like that happens! :-/ I'm sure WDW holds no hard feelings, but it is really annoying how things get spread around on the internet... At the end of the day, we all like Jake and I wish that brought us together more than divided us...but for some reason, we remain divided.

And now that I've depressed us all, KD, I'm ALL for a party!! In fact, I may get started early on that one tonight. ;D

Sophie,  September 4, 2010 at 2:43 PM  


sherry September 5, 2010 at 8:38 AM  

i am gonna buy it...but first i have to collect my "eidi" eid is after a week...:)

Clarabel,  September 5, 2010 at 2:13 PM  

Congratulations PG! Unbelievably exciting news, what an acheivement...not only to have had the patience and drive to write a book but to get in published and on amazon...well done you!!!!

I've just downloaded it and have broken off at 10% to comment..loving it so far!

Little tip for those that can't bear to wait for delivery ...I don't have a kindle, but discovered I could download kindle to my mac or android phone form amazon, so did that for free then purchased the book - hey presto!! There was no way I could wait 18-32 days for it to be delivered to the UK!

Happy reading x

Becky Heineke September 5, 2010 at 4:43 PM  

Wow, who knew?! Thanks Clarabel! I had no idea you could do that...fantastic. :)

(And I'm so glad you're enjoying it!! :D)

Clarabel,  September 5, 2010 at 7:02 PM i'm gonna be grouchy and tired tomorrow at work from my late night, but i couldn't stop reading! LOVED it PG, great insight and some really bittersweet moments.

Well done again..what a great read xx

Becky Heineke September 5, 2010 at 11:16 PM  

I can't believe you finished it! Everyone seems to be reading it in marathon sessions which...I'm hoping is a good thing. :D

Thank you, Clarabel. I'm so glad you liked it! I don't want to say too much right now in case I spoil something for someone else, but your reaction is everything I could have hoped for. :) Thank you for reading it!!!

And as a general announcement, if anyone wants to review it on Amazon that would :D

Anonymous,  September 8, 2010 at 8:48 PM  

OMG I stumped upon your blog and love it!!! When I saw that you had a book out, I obviously had to get it and support and


Becky Heineke September 8, 2010 at 8:58 PM  

Thank you so much!!! I hope you love the book!! I guarantee many hours of Jake-filled enjoyment. :D And I'm so glad you found the blog!

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