Jake Gyllenhaal Wants You to Buy This Book

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Chapter 1:  Hey, Remember When Brokeback Mountain Didn’t Win the Oscar for Best Picture? Because I Do.

Chapter 2:  Your Crash Course in Gyllenhaal, or The Least You Need to Know about Jake to Understand This Book*

Chapter 3:  Jake Watch Was Not My Creation; I Just Attached Myself to It with Leech-Like Enthusiasm.

Chapter 4:  The Saga of Stephen, Father of Jake

Chapter 5:  Never Sit Too Close to the Stage at an Opera …

Chapter 6:  … It Spoils the Illusion.

Chapter 7:  Babygate

Chapter 8:  Well, After All That, What the Hell Are We Going to Do for Jake’s Birthday?

Chapter 9:  The Dastardly Uncle Jack Nasty and Other Fake Jake Stories**

Chapter 10:  Zodiac: A Disaster on Many Levels (For Me, It Was Personal)

Chapter 11:  “I Think Jake Would Smell Sort of Like Apples,” and How That Quote Relates to the Business of Selling T-Shirts

Chapter 12:  This Chapter is Basically Just Susie and Me Working through Some Shit

Chapter 13:  Toronto? Oh, Wow. Okay.

Chapter 14:  A Conversation (Assign to It Whatever Meaning You’d Like)

Chapter 15:  Five Conveniently Timed Ending-Signaling Things 

Chapter 16:  It’s All about Learning, A.K.A. The Obligatory Epilogue-Like Chapter

 
Available in paper or plastic!
(Typical.  I spend the entire summer with everything behind schedule and then the one time I have a defined time period, we jump way ahead.  Seriously, Amazon.  THE DAY AFTER I put up the notice about it being two to three weeks you put me on your site?!)

(This is the first of several thousand posts about this book, because we're going global with this bitch.)

* This "chapter" is less than a page in length.  You don't have to know much of anything about Jake to understand the book.

** This chapter is a very different and much improved version of the one that appeared in the 2008 edition of Cantaraville Summer.  On the off chance that you read that version, don't judge based on that! :)