There is such brilliance in this approach. Jake has NO IDEA.
Also, though I never got around to announcing that Jake was going to be a celebrity guest for the Stand Up to Cancer telethon on September 10, Jake is no longer listed as a celebrity guest for the Stand Up to Cancer telethon on September 10, but that's probably because Jake may never have actually been listed as a celebrity guest for the Stand Up to Cancer telethon on September 10 to begin with, and that was just the internet being dumb. But think of this as a win, because even though we no longer have a reason to debate whether he'll shave his beard before then, we also no longer have to sit through watching a telethon.
Also, for any American readers out there who are just coming back to us after a long Labor Day weekend (or non-Americans who aren't weekend stalkers), I'm Stalking Jake! (the book!) is OUT NOW. And everyone who reads this blog is required to buy a copy and then write me a 5-star review on Amazon; otherwise I'll have to go back to having a real job and won't be able to write this blog every day and EVERYONE LOSES (especially Jake, because that poor kid can't even tell when he's being stalked by women in posters unless I'm here to point it out to him).