Thursday, July 15, 2010

More Celebrities Blacklisted for Stalking Jake (Kris Allen, I'm Looking at You)

Gabriella Cilmi, person whose existence I was previously unaware of, is now on our watch list till the end of time for this horrifyingly intrusive and inappropriate comment during an interview last week:

“I can’t wait to see ‘Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time’ with Jake Gyllenhaal, he’s pretty fine if I might say so. I probably wouldn’t be able to talk properly though because when I get nervous I can’t construct a sentence.”

AHHHH THE HORROR.  Control yourself, woman!!!!!

UNFORTUNATELY, at this time I am unable to devote the time needed to appropriately reprimand Gabriella because her out of control comments, while shocking, have nothing on what was said by Kris Allen, who has just rocketed to the top of our list of Worst Celebrity Jake Stalkers Ever.  Yes, he trumps even Dustin Hoffman, a man who was once so overwhelmed by Jake's presence that this happened (Susan Sarandon was mortified):





What could a person do that could possibly be worse than that?  Well, first Kris answered this question, shouted by a raucous female fan with an overactive imagination:


  
And then MTV asked him to explain, and he just made A BAD SITUATION WORSE:






(I think the interviewer might have a man-crush on Jake himself.)

Kris Allen, for God's sake, keep it together, man.  And learn from the mistakes of Jimmy Fallon.  'Cause he crossed this line too, and if you keep acting like this, Jake might have to break out his fists of fury and go ninja on your ass. 



Don't say I didn't warn you.

Thanks to HappyDogBlog for the tip and Vanessa for the gif!

52 comments:

Linda,  July 15, 2010 at 1:15 PM  

well, it's obvious, every girl has a crush on Jake
but a Guy? for God's sake that terrifying! LOL
you just gotta make a search on twitter and you'll find a million guys in love with Jake!
that's funny though, he's irresistible! :D

Nothing Really Matters July 15, 2010 at 1:23 PM  

Dustin should do some more T-Shirt pulling up more often! I wish I had abs like that *sigh*

P.S.

I fricking love Susan!

Prophecy Girl July 15, 2010 at 1:34 PM  

All human beings find him irresistible! No one can resist The Gyllenhaal! (Or his gym-perfect abs.)

Confession: I think Kris Allen is adorable and the thought of him having a man-crush on Jake is AWESOME.

Linda,  July 15, 2010 at 1:38 PM  

hahaha indeed :)
and yes it is awesome :D

Vanessa,  July 15, 2010 at 2:26 PM  

LMAO! That Dustin, he really crossed the stalker line with those moves. Eeep! But it gave us all some great eye candy, I don't remember Jake's abs looking quite like that in MM! Dayummm!

That is too precious about Kris. Wonder what made that girl ask him that anyway??? Did she already have some inside info that PG wasn't aware of? >;-)

Of course NO ONE can resist Gylls, NO ONE!

Prophecy Girl July 15, 2010 at 3:17 PM  

^^^ AGREED on the last sentence. :) And second confession: that was totally me who shouted the question. ;D

Chris, indeed those are 2002 pics! I was so sad when I remembered these only AFTER I put up the original celebrity stalker photos. They are the worst offense ever...well, prior to Kris Allen's, that is. ;)

S4M985 July 15, 2010 at 4:38 PM  

Wow, Gabriella Cilmi is doing well, about a year ago she was a school kid over here, someone discovered her and now shes mentioning Gylls name and getting publicity.. I hate her songs but as a fellow Aussie i guess im kinda proud! hahaha!

And this Kris guy is cute.. who is he?! Never heard of him??!!

Call Me Mo July 15, 2010 at 4:48 PM  

Should I still be offended if I had no idea Kris Allen even existed until just right now?

These pics always give me mixed feelings. On the one hand, CHEST HAIR!! WOO! On the other, the visible ribs. Eww.

Prophecy Girl July 15, 2010 at 6:05 PM  

Kris Allen is the runner-up of the season-before-last's American Idol. He and Adam Lambert are totally man-friends.

So, Mo and Sam, number one reason why I love that you don't know him? This post will go down as BY FAR my most viewed post EVER because a bunch of Kris Allen fans have linked to it today. YAY for keyword-maximizing post headers!! ;D (But boo that Kris has more fans than Jake. *sniff!*)

gyllenhaalisgr8 July 15, 2010 at 6:25 PM  

If you look at the photo of Jakey with his tee shirt over his face, his abdomen looks like Homer Simpson saying, "Doh!" That's all I got.

ZoniDuck July 15, 2010 at 6:41 PM  

Prophecy Girl, Kris was actually the winner of season 8 of American Idol. Adam Lambert was the runner up, though the only people who remember this are the fans. It certainly didn't matter much to Kris or Adam, who have always been unfailingly supportive of each other, and are totally the best of man-friends.

Oh, and though Kris hasn't met Jake, Adam has. But you probably already knew that. ;-)

Prophecy Girl July 15, 2010 at 6:46 PM  

OH YOU ARE SO RIGHT. I had COMPLETELY forgotten that Kris was the *real* winner!!! I am a terrible consumer of pop culture. :(

And actually, no! I did not know that Jake and Adam had met!! I went through this whole period from 2008 until fairly recently where I didn't follow anything that happened in Jake's life but that's beside the point (none of us likes to talk about it)...please spill!! I'd love to know how/why that came about! :D

Vanessa,  July 15, 2010 at 7:39 PM  

Oh, PG, it was probably on Jonathon Ross's show when Jake & Adam were on it in May together. Here is a link on youtube for Jake's parts only:
part 1 > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvLfwiA_rk8

Here is part 2 > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwSla4uPXZU

JR is always so out there & I love Jake's cooking on his iPad! >;-)

Here is another funny clip from the show with both of them > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVU3ZDqHads

Vanessa,  July 15, 2010 at 7:48 PM  

Actually here is a better one of the video where JR asked Jake & Adam to do some new "you're fired" phrases for Alan Sugar, the Donald Trump of the BBC's Apprentice. Hahaha, Jake is unbelievable! You can so totally have fun with that one!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7_dLbNV7Ls

Prophecy Girl July 15, 2010 at 8:06 PM  

^^^ For the second time in as many comments, I say OH YOU ARE SO RIGHT. I feel kind of ridiculous for forgetting that now, since I've been totally intending to post on that particular interview (which occurred JUST prior to the start of this blog) for quite some time now. (Me and AI-related knowledge-retention seems to be not great today!!)

Thanks for clearing that up, Vanessa! :D

gyllenhaalisgr8 July 15, 2010 at 8:40 PM  

Vanessa. When you said you had a link for Jake's parts only, I had something totally different in mind. Thanks anyway, LOL! :-p

Dani July 16, 2010 at 12:42 AM  

That's it!
We need to start out CIA thing-y ASAP!!!

Katie,  July 16, 2010 at 12:44 AM  

Gosh I have to fight half the free world for Jake and now Kris Allen too?!?!?! I best brush up on my ass-kicking!!!

Mo, I echo your sentiment about Jakey's ribs...at least we know he's overcome that.

Case in point:
http://cm1.theinsider.com/thumbnail/400/606/cm1.theinsider.com/media/0/387/9/jake-gyllenhaal-persia-1.JPG
(I do not take credit for finding this...another darling poster around ISJ found it, and we all thank her for it!)

Katie,  July 16, 2010 at 12:47 AM  

And I'm so glad to see discussion about the Jonathan Ross interview from May of this year. I've seriously watched it probably 50 times. Its my nightly routine. Some people floss, I watch Jake interviews....

S4M985 July 16, 2010 at 2:58 AM  

And how funny is it that yesterday i bought Adam Lamberts CD because he is EVERYWHERE right now, but i had no idea who Kris was??!! LOL typical IDOL careers!

I noticed the spike in visitors, hopefully some of them stick around!!

Lena July 16, 2010 at 7:02 AM  

"Jake's sad life", LOL! Indeed.
LMAO at Dustin Hoffman. Just what the hell is he doing there, fuck sake!?

KD,  July 16, 2010 at 9:51 AM  

WHOA. So many valuable discussions while I was on the plane! Sorry if this post is a little strange; a 14 hour flight will do that to the brain.

Kris Allen is adorable and I love his persona, but I must admit that I have more Adam Lambert songs than Kris Allen songs, although his cover of "Heartless" by Kanye West is still one of my favorites in Idol history. (then again, I hardly ever watched the show...)

I LOVED THE MAY JR INTERVIEW WITH GYLLS AND ADAM LAMBERT. It's one of my favorite interviews ever.

"Do you indulge in the recreational?" (Ross)

"I plead the fifth" (Lambert)
"No, we only sell it by the gram." (Ross)

"It's strong...like a wood table on Viagra." (Gylls)

Whoa, never seen those videos before! Thanks Vanessa!

Vanessa,  July 16, 2010 at 10:40 AM  

Wow, KD, so glad to hear you are safely back on the ground!

You are very welcome, I adore watching Wossy's show & now no longer get BBC America, so that blows. Luckily I still had it when that show aired. LOVED IT! & just about lost it when he ate those pickled onions!

"We're not fully British yet!" while he's pouring salt on the butter... hahaha... & "everybody loves a bit of Stilton!" & then Wossy, "suddenly I'm cooking with Dick Van Dyke!" I would love to see Gylls do his show again, maybe he will for L&OD. One can only hope... >;-)

Prophecy Girl July 16, 2010 at 12:04 PM  

And now that you are all completely tired of the Jonathan Ross interview, I have put up a post about it! :D

(I needed to add Jonathan Ross to our Stalker List anyway.)

And KD, good to hear from you!! I wasn't sure we would for a while...I'm so glad you made it safe and that your adventures are beginning!!!

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Anonymous,  August 12, 2010 at 12:11 AM  

I would like to exchange links with your site www.imstalkingjake.com
Is this possible?

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