Once upon a time, in 2008, Jake Gyllenhaal (see masthead) and Jessica Biel (see Seventh Heaven...oh wait, don't) made a movie together called Nailed. The movie was about...it was about...uh...tell you what. I'm going to let IMDb tell you what the movie was about:
A small town waitress gets a nail accidentally lodged in her head causing unpredictable behavior that leads her to Washington, DC, where sparks fly when she meets a clueless young senator who takes up her cause - but what happens when love interferes with what you stand for?
Unfortunately, we have no idea what happens when love interferes with what you stand for because this movie has yet to be released.
We know that it was filmed (or at least Jake's parts were) because Jake was seen on set looking like a movie star.
Sample Photographic Evidence:
Obviously movie-star-like behavior:
And what's more movie-star than a lady-servant carrying an umbrella for Jake while an orphan child scampers in his wake?
Anyway, before, during, and after filming, a bunch of stuff happened wherein grown men who were working on the film started acting like teenage girls and then there were budget problems and for a while it looked like Nailed would never see the light of day...
And now it looks even more like that. David O. Russell, director and writer of the film, has quit.
And even though right now everyone is being all polite and "professional" about this latest (and lowest) blow to the production, I just have to wonder what everyone's goddamned problem is. Because what it looks like to me is that a lot of people all up and down the totem pole took themselves entirely too seriously, and now even if this movie does get released, it'll be shit, because how could it not be.
And that means that Jake had to comb his hair like this for no reason:
Thank you to Cantara and to Leslie for the complementary links and for alerting me to this news!