Thursday, June 3, 2010

Not Only Does He Ride a Motorcycle, He's Famous!

The things we're learning about Jake this week!

Today, via The Twitter, I ran across a very interesting article (which was published yesterday so most of you are probably over it already) from the Miami Herald, which you can read HERE...interesting because not only does it exhibit a new and progressive take on punctuation, but interesting because the person who wrote it appears to have fallen unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Jake during the writing process.  And can we blame him?


Charles Cotayo, reporter extraordinaire, tells us (after several paragraphs filled with words like "charisma," "superstar," and "versatility") that last weekend, "...Gyllenhaal, with the physique of an Olympian, drew the public like a magnet to the their local cineplexes."

Except...Jake sort of didn't do that so much...but I truly appreciate Charles stretching the truth for the people of Miami!


My only quibble with the article is that Charles calls our Gylls an "A-Lister."

ACTUALLY, according to a highly scientific calculation which I am by law required to keep secret, Jake Gyllenhaal clocks in at 7.4 on the I'm Stalking Jake! Fame Scale (ISJFS), which extends from Your High School English Teacher (1) to Susan Boyle (10).  This puts him just above Justin Bieber and slightly below Megan Fox.

Upside of this Fame Level - Available in plastic form at most regional Wal-Marts.  
Downside of this Fame Level - Still less famous than Orlando Bloom.

Aside from this minor slip-up, though, the article Charles has written just might be the most pro-Jake piece I have ever read.  (Just wait till you get to the part about Jake being a scholar of classical literature.  Who knew?!)  He even manages to soften the critical responses to Prince of Persia by poetically calling them "mixed reviews that leaned toward the darker side of the star-rating system."

Charles Cotayo, your check's in the mail.

(Though I don't know if you'll be able to cash it.  I'm a little strapped right now.)

Justin Bieber from HERE, Megan Fox HERE.

17 comments:

sumi k,  June 3, 2010 at 3:50 PM  

I'm getting ready to write off an angry letter!!

Not once was he referred to as Gylls, which is obviously ESSENTIAL to being an A-Lister. You need a catchy little nickname. Besides, it will take the attention away from the gil-en-hall, yillenhooolahay, jibberdeedoo, etc. question.

That being said, I love any mention of Jake in any media piece.

Do we know if he is going to make a mention at the MTV Movie awards this year? its this weekend...

Prophecy Girl June 3, 2010 at 4:17 PM  

It's this weekend already?!

*ten minutes later*

I was searching for info but got extremely distracted watching THIS VIDEO, which is, like, amazing.

And it's so true that having one, clearly defined nickname is basically the only thing he lacks at this point to move into the A game. God, he's so damned close...we're working on it, Jake!

gyllenhaalisgr8 June 3, 2010 at 4:41 PM  

My, oh, my...that hedgehog dance brings back memories...of one of Dastan's poses...and that white bird guy he played on SNL! What a good sport Jake is! One more reason why he is so blasted adorable...!

sumi k,  June 3, 2010 at 5:42 PM  

http://perezhilton.com/2010-06-03-jake-works-it-out



no parkour-ing into the car! oh, that gylls!

gyllenhaalisgr8 June 3, 2010 at 5:46 PM  

Are there stars to go under the merit badges like in cub scouts? I just made Jake singing "The Fox" my outgoing message on my answering machine. Somebody stop me!

Linda June 3, 2010 at 7:01 PM  

heeey! your blog is amazing :)
Jake looks gorgeous as always!
have a nice day.

Prophecy Girl June 3, 2010 at 7:35 PM  

Linda, yay!! Thank you so much and welcome to the fold!

And can I just say that Jake ALWAYS shows up in paparazzi pictures immediately after I put up a post. He does this on purpose, because he knows it drives me nuts.

Linda June 3, 2010 at 7:58 PM  

hahaha I know!
thank you very much! I'm gonna be here really often :)
it's an Obsessed Fan's Promise :P

Prophecy Girl June 3, 2010 at 8:12 PM  

AWESOME. We only accept obsessed fans around here!! ;D In fact, as I write this, I'm trying to decide whether or not I should post the car post now or wait until tomorrow. What if there's nothing to post about tomorrow? Or what if there's lots to post about tomorrow and I miss my opportunity by waiting?! These are the things that keep me up at night!!

Linda June 3, 2010 at 8:20 PM  

I admire you... I think people don't realize what a hard choice it is! :D

Prophecy Girl June 3, 2010 at 8:40 PM  

EXACTLY!! It's a horribly rough life I lead... ;D

I think I've decided I'll post right before I go to bed. And if this means it's a slow day for tomorrow, we're all just going to have to deal with that. I can only do so much!

(HA!!)

Linda June 3, 2010 at 8:53 PM  

Perfect! I'll be sitting here waiting for that post.
:D lol

S4M985 June 3, 2010 at 10:12 PM  

PG just do it, i know its hard looking at Jake all day so you should probably post and share the torment...

Prophecy Girl June 3, 2010 at 11:07 PM  

It's up! But just know that if I regret this tomorrow, I'm blaming peer pressure!!! :)

KD,  June 3, 2010 at 11:11 PM  

This site is how I end my nights.

Absolutely love your posts. Please don't stop being fantastically obsessed. It's far too amusing and NECESSARY.

S4M985 June 4, 2010 at 2:26 AM  

See PG, you wont regret this... KD put it perfectly, thats why you do this!

Im no bully i swear! And anyway, you brought it up :p We had no idea a car post was in the making!!! *innocent eyes* (loved it btw!)

Prophecy Girl June 4, 2010 at 7:59 AM  

Thanks, Sam. ;) Turns out there are grocery pictures today anyway! All that stress, but he came through for me in the end...

And THANK YOU, KD!! I'm so glad you appreciate my undying devotion! :D I take pride in covering the important details that make a difference in all our lives but are somehow so often overlooked elsewhere...

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