The United States is trying a new thing this year. We're "caring" about "soccer," a sport the rest of the world inexplicably refers to as "football" (which is just ridiculous because everyone knows "football" is a game where you carry an inflated oblong shape in your hands).
So what does this have to do with Jake?
Well, as we all know (or maybe don't), Jake Gyllenhaal is quite the athlete. He hangs out at gyms:
He attends sporting events:
He's fond of athletic socks:
He's even been known to hang out in France with people who make their living performing feats of inhuman endurance:
And did you know that Jake presented an award at the ESPYs one year? He did! What's more athletic than that?
And of course there was that time in GQ magazine when he said that in his youth he loved soccer more than his family...
So if I had to guess what Jake might be doing today starting at 2pm/1pm Central while ABC shows the match between the U.S. and England, I...wouldn't have the faintest idea.
But I'll be watching the World Cup! So suck it, England. You may be the nation that invented whatever the hell that "offside" thing is, but we're the nation that gave the world this:
Soccer fan from HERE.