Jake Gyllenhaal Desperate for Attention

New Magazine UK is reporting: "We do find this a bit hard to believe, but Jake Gyllenhaal reckons LESS people flirted with him after he muscled-up for his new movie, Prince Of Persia."

I'll tell you what's hard to believe. It's hard to believe that someone was actually paid to write that sentence considering its shoddy grammar. FEWER people flirted with him.

Anyway. Poor Jake. No one appreciates him anymore! "More women flirted with me when I shaved my head as a marine in Jarhead than when I got big muscles and had long hair in Prince of Persia...." Jake divulged between wracking sobs.* (*I may have made part of this sentence up.)

Jake, as we all know, has since sheared his Fabio locks and been hit on by every woman in Russia, so we shouldn't feel too sorry for him. At any rate, it's own damn fault for looking so terrifying:

But we here at ISJ are the self-sacrificing sort, so Jake, I hereby pledge to you that if you make a Prince of Persia sequel, this community will rise up and join together to provide you with a whole pool of individuals who will...deep breath...flirt with you. Your ego means that much to us.

Shamrock, May 14, 2010 at 11:58 AM

I think I can muster up the strength to flirt with the SMF if he grows his hair out again for a PoP sequel. Lord knows it was hard enough to do it the first time around... Jake with long hair and big muscles.

Hmm... I might have to restrain myself to keep it at just flirting.

Sam , May 14, 2010 at 4:33 PM

Yeh, thats a tough ask PG but we can pull together- i guess.

Although id pick Swofford over Dastan anyday, so if you want to make it easier for us Jake, just wear get around in a military uniform (or half of one) or maybe a santa hat?

Unknown, January 1, 2015 at 5:00 AM

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