Thursday, May 20, 2010

Jake Continues to Hit On Women Who Have No Interest In Him

Poor Jake Gyllenhaal.  He just has no luck with the ladies!  By now we've all seen the tragic video in which he tries -- and fails -- to woo the exotic international set with his smoking dance moves.  And then there's his hair, which causes the opposite sex to flee from him in horror. 

But now it's come to Jake approaching random women in parking lots and not taking the hint:

Jake totally does not know who this woman is.  He just saw her and decided to go for it.  But after he approaches, she tells him with her expression to leave her damn dry cleaning alone, the big oaf.

So hard to watch!  'God, look at how wrinkled his hoodie is,' this woman is thinking.  'I've got to get my clothes the hell away from him.'

Jake's been thinking about it the whole time, but now he decides to man up and press this button, the function of which we bystanders can only guess at...

"Seriously, go away," the woman says.  So Jake doesn't press the button.  His confused expression suggests he is finally understanding that this might not be going well.

At last the woman starts running frantically away and Jake hastens to catch up and give her her clothes back before sprinting from the scene.

DE-NIED, Gyllenhaal.  

So what is it about Jake that caused this woman to be so revolted?  What is it in general that's causing his bad luck of late?  Well, until I saw these pictures, I couldn't be entirely sure, but now my worst fears have been confirmed.  It's not the dancing.  It's not the hair.  It's two words of extreme importance and it explains everything that's going wrong with Jake these days.

Take a good look at those ankles, my friends.  

Today's post is brought to you by PG's Dashed Hopes For A Sock Watch. :(


randomhero2006 May 20, 2010 at 11:19 AM  

Look closely:

He's got some gray no-show sock action going there.

Maybe it's because they were these socks?

Anonymous,  May 20, 2010 at 11:40 AM  

Hahaha, Jake has skinny ankles!! Are they hairless too? Crazy.

I think that woman is Jakes publicist :P

Nice investigation randomhero2006!


Prophecy Girl May 20, 2010 at 11:59 AM  

Dude. DUDE! I need to start an ISJ! Merit Badge program. Monica wins the one for Exceptional Sock Research. That was an amazing investigation and should be rewarded.

And Silver, I think you're right that that's his publicist! (Someone, of course, who in real life he would NEVER hit on, I'm sure...)

Anonymous,  May 20, 2010 at 12:30 PM  

Hooray! Sockwatch is back!!! I've missed it ;) /xx

coffeecat May 20, 2010 at 5:18 PM  

Well he's nearly sockless...

S4M985 May 20, 2010 at 6:49 PM  

Oh totally, i would screw my face up with discust if Jake approached me randomly in a car park with a creased jumper on like that... i cant even fathom what i would do if i noticed the socks! yeh.. totally...

S4M985 May 21, 2010 at 5:09 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
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