Sunday, May 16, 2010

In Preparation For Tomorrow's Premiere, Jake Will Spend His Sunday Washing His Hair

We have heard so much about Jake Gyllenhaal and his hair lately.  How grossly unattractive it is.  How important it is to condition separately.  Now, we even hear how important his hair is to making his muscles look bigger:

"The Jake Gyllenhaal workout plan…starts with growing long, long hair…gorgeous greasy locks and then washing every day….Wash, shampoo, then condition. Washing works the biceps and then the triceps by conditioning. And vigorously rubbing all of your body with soap really defines the abs and the pectoral muscles. And if you do squats while you're bathing – that's it!"

Periodically throughout filming, Jake would hide his hair because of the shame of improper conditioning.

With so much riding on his hair care regimen, it's obvious that Jake's day today will be a busy one, full of deep lathering and thorough rinsing.  We wish you luck, Jake!  We here at ISJ will be watching your implausibly overpumped muscles closely tomorrow and we will know...we will know...if you used a 2-in-1 product.

(Prophecy Girl, meanwhile, will be spending her Sunday sitting next to the phone waiting to hear from Pop Sugar that she won a trip to the premiere!  Wait, what?  The contest is over?  And she WASN'T THE WINNER?!  On second thought, Prophecy Girl will be spending her Sunday getting very, very drunk.)

5 comments:

coffeecat May 16, 2010 at 11:46 AM  

What about the bikini wax mentioned in the article the other day??

Alec Ramsey May 16, 2010 at 11:55 AM  

I'll be getting drunk too as I didn't win either. Oh the madness!!

Prophecy Girl May 16, 2010 at 4:08 PM  

Alec, I thought of you when I didn't get my call... :( I figured since I didn't get a call from you, either, it wasn't good news for either of us. BOTTOMS UP.

And coffeecat, HOW could I forget the bikini wax?! The hair coverage this week seems to be way above average. This must somehow be tied to my return...

S4M985 May 16, 2010 at 4:36 PM  

Some randon person who just enters competitions for the fun of it probably won it.

Im getting pumped for all the new Jake stuff to come with the American premier. If only he was coming here. *sigh*

Prophecy Girl May 16, 2010 at 6:37 PM  

Ugh, I know what you mean about the random person. It's probably someone who it won't mean all that much to. Reminds me of when I used to get really mad when people ran into him on the street...while meanwhile I was going all over the place trying to meet him and failing repeatedly (wow, does that make me sound pathetic). Whoever it is, I hope they have a blog and give us a recap!

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