Jake Gyllenhaal, who is one smoking jacket away from being Hugh Hefner in the picture above, will be presenting an award tonight at the Oscars, something that no doubt every person reading this blog already knows.
This year's Oscars are extra-exciting because they are aimed toward The Youth. People who are young, in general, do not care about self-important, four-hour ceremonies where a snobby and exclusive set of "professionals" sit around congratulating themselves for convincingly acting like they are something they're not. BUT, people who are young do like the James Franco and the Anne Hathaway, which is why they've been tagged as hosts this evening.
Your author, whose general feelings about the Academy Awards have been documented both in her book and in the paragraph preceding this one, is genuinely interested (for once) in watching this year to see if she is swayed by this blatant attempt to seduce her demographic. Unfortunately, though, she's going to miss the entire thing because she has to catch a flight to Hogwarts this evening.
So she's going to leave you in the able hands of Jake. And his award. Which he will be presenting right after he attempts to lure you into your computer screen using only the power of his eyeballs...