New York magazine apparently did not get the message that we are going through a period of JAKE APATHY right now.
You know? Because there's nothing going on? And all the news is rehashed stuff? And we haven't seen Jake for weeks (although in times past it's been months, so actually we're not that bad off in that particular department)?
We're hunkering down, reading without caring, going on with our lives until things get interesting and then we'll all give a damn again.
And through it all we are being PUT TO SHAME by New York magazine, which is just completely freaking the freak out over the Love & Other Drugs poster and the mysteriousness of Jake covering his mouth with his hand.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN.
Below is the high-quality version of the poster (which is clickable):
And below this is the high-quality discussion of it that New York came up with (my commentary is in blue):
"What is going on? Is Jake trying not to laugh? His eyes aren't smiling. [Actually, I could see the argument for his eyes being "mirthful."] Is he surprised? He doesn't look it, and besides, what's he surprised about? That a photographer showed up in his bedroom? [Ha ha, this joke is so lame.] Is he making the universal sign for "speak no evil"? Again, why? The poster doesn’t convey enough information about his character, or his relationship, for us to think he has a problem running his mouth. [Looks like someone hasn't watched the trailer...] Meanwhile, why is Hathaway so contentedly oblivious to whatever inner turmoil is going on with Jake and his mouth? [Probably because she doesn't care. She just slept with Jake Gyllenhaal.] He's not the one with a serious illness! [Spoiler alert!] She is! Is her illness the subtext of Jake's gesture? Like, don't ask Jake Gyllenhaal if this is a movie about Parkinson's disease or sex, because he won't tell you? He can keep a secret! [Can he?!] This movie can keep a secret! The secret being, maybe it's not just a sex-forward romantic comedy? Woah. [I believe that's "whoa."] Clearly, we have now spent more than a reasonable amount of time pondering the meaning of this poster, and are not sure we have arrived at a satisfactory explanation. [You haven't and you haven't.] Can you help? [No.]"
On the upside, if a legitimate (?) news organization can wring that much analysis out of a single poster, then hell, there may be hope for this movie yet!
On the downside, NEW YORK MAGAZINE is out-stalking us at the moment. It is a sad day in the life of my restraining order...