Monday, August 30, 2010

The Jake-Has-Been-Replaced-By-Paul-Bunyan Rumor Gets Traction

Coming out of wooden cabins?  Walking through thick foliage?  WEARING KHAKIS?!?!!!!


More pictures of Jake uneasily staring down the picture-taker at the usual spot.


CigarattesAndCoffee August 30, 2010 at 10:38 AM  

Oh my God, what is with all the tongue in these photos?! Jake must've been concentrating on something very hard...

gyllenhaalisgr8 August 30, 2010 at 10:52 AM  

I'm cashing my social security check, grabbing my razor and he'd better look out! Until then, I have made the ultimate Jake-stalking video (second in one night; I was a bit loopy...

Leslie August 30, 2010 at 11:04 AM  

Sasquatch really does exist!!!

gyllenhaalisgr8 August 30, 2010 at 11:09 AM  

Big foot or a big six inches?!

Becky Heineke August 30, 2010 at 11:15 AM  

^^^ Ladies and gentlemen, SHE'S BACK! ;D

Becky Heineke August 30, 2010 at 11:16 AM  

P.S. I'm really sad now I didn't run with the tongue theme and do a lizard post. I have failed at stalking today. :(

gyllenhaalisgr8 August 30, 2010 at 11:21 AM  

My stalking video will give you renewed strength! Hahahaha!

gyllenhaalisgr8 August 30, 2010 at 11:23 AM  

P.S. There is also a new sultry one ***fans herself***!

gyllenhaalisgr8 August 30, 2010 at 11:25 AM  

Inspiration works in mysterious ways: I was watching "Sister Act" when I was prompted to make the silly thing!

Leslie August 30, 2010 at 12:20 PM  

gyllenhaalisgr8: As 'Lil Kim says - "under 7 inches . . EH, sorry!"

Anonymous,  August 30, 2010 at 1:22 PM  

Love the tongue action!!!

KD,  August 30, 2010 at 1:47 PM  

Jeez, aside from the atrocity that defines his beard, what's going on with all that tongue action? It's like his safety blanket. Don't know what face to make for the 'razzi? Stick my tongue out! Walking? Stick my tongue out! Crossing the street! Stick my tongue out.

It's so distracting! *GOES CRAZY*

KD,  August 30, 2010 at 1:48 PM  

Wow, should have just ditto'd CigarattesAndCoffee's comment. I need to read the comments before I comment.

Leslie August 30, 2010 at 1:54 PM  

Hey PG - now YOU'RE being quoted as a source (read the comments of this article) HERE!

Call Me Mo August 30, 2010 at 1:57 PM  

He's killing my quiver. Slowly, but surely. :/

Becky Heineke August 30, 2010 at 2:44 PM  

^^^ NO!! Don't say it. He'll come back. He always does!!!

@Leslie WOW, I'm famous! :D That's very exciting! I've gotten so much mileage from that post. Jake, wherever you are, I would like to dedicate this victory to you for growing your beard out so I could call you a werewolf. :)

gyllenhaalisgr8 August 30, 2010 at 3:18 PM  

Leslie...I would default to making an exception for Mr. G...and with that tongue he has, we would probably not even notice!!

Katie,  August 30, 2010 at 4:23 PM  

Bubby in flip-flops! I bet he has such cute feet. Is it terrible that I kind of like the khakis? But I definitely do not like the shirt. At all.

Sam August 30, 2010 at 4:24 PM  

wow, he looks so tribal, ive never seen him like this!!! Gylls whats going on??

Vanessa August 30, 2010 at 7:51 PM  

Dayumm, he just looks sooo wild & wooly. Geez, I wonder how much longer that beard might actually get??? If he doesn't cut it soon, he really will look like THIS

Anonymous,  August 30, 2010 at 8:00 PM  

The beard is all the buzz!
Seen this PG?
Unfortunately Jake's losing again...

Becky Heineke August 30, 2010 at 8:33 PM  

I had *not* seen that, Lena!! Why does Rob Pattison insist on TORTURING ME with his continued existence?!??? Rob Pattison WISHES he could grow a beard like Jake Gyllenhaal's...

I will continue to vote, regardless of how feeble my efforts may be. :-/

Anonymous,  August 30, 2010 at 8:49 PM  

Yes it's sad isn't it. Pattz's beard looks like something pasted on (badly).
I think people don't even LOOK at the photos anymore, they've all been programmed to automatically click on the name RPattz whenever it appears anywhere for whatever reason.
Damn those Twimoms...

Leslie August 30, 2010 at 9:30 PM  

You know, after careful examination of these photos *cough* . . and if I were a betting girl . . I'd have to wager that he's wearing no underwear here. Yes, methinks Sir Gyllenhaal is goin' commando here ladies.


Speaking of which . . .

Have we had the debate about boxers v. briefs yet? ;}

[I can NOT believe I just typed this . . if you read this Jake - I'M SO SORRY!]

Vanessa August 30, 2010 at 9:35 PM  

Great idea for a debate, Leslie!

I personally want to see commando, but if I can't have that, then briefs would be my choice, or can we vote for bikini briefs instead??? >;-P

gyllenhaalisgr8 August 30, 2010 at 9:59 PM  

You know, Vanessa, at this point I wouldn't put anything past him! Is he on a mission or something?

gyllenhaalisgr8 August 30, 2010 at 10:04 PM  

What IS that little pink ball on the tip of Jake's tongue?? I won't say what it looks like, but it rhymes with Dolores....

Vanessa August 30, 2010 at 10:23 PM  

Well after further examination of THIS picture, I swear it made me really think of bigfoot HERE

Sad, but true...

Oh Sir Jake, why hast thou forsaken the Gyllenhaalics of the world? Just because the stupid critics dissed your PoP look isn't a good enough reason to become a Yeti. If you feel you MUST shapeshift, then please make it a werewolf, not Sasquatch, thank you.

Anonymous,  August 31, 2010 at 4:31 AM  

I'm going for the commando option too.

And we already know his friend is Sasquatch (Jimmy Kimmel interview), so he's probably the werewolf.

Nathália August 31, 2010 at 7:45 AM  

Hi there! Just wanted to let you know that I chose I'm Stalking Jake as one of my recommended blogs for this Blog Day! =)

PS: my blog is in Portuguese.

Leslie August 31, 2010 at 9:01 AM  

Well, the debate is more like . . what do you think he wears? Personally, I think he's got the tight boxers goin' on . . most likely black but sometimes grey or white. Kinda like THESE.

Vanessa August 31, 2010 at 9:07 AM  

OMFG, Leslie, yeah, I LOVE those skin tight boxers! & sorry I misunderstood the debate. I was thinking more along the lines of what I WANT to see him wear! >;-)

But as far as WHAT he is wearing underneath those pants, then I would want to say most likely they are body hugging, since there doesn't seem to be any sign of anything showing through, maybe he IS commando after all! ^_^

Leslie August 31, 2010 at 9:23 AM  

Vanessa - I don't think it's a matter of what we want to see him wear . . but what we'd like to see him take off!! LOL

[Still not believing I'm actually commenting about this kind of stuff publicly! *blushing*]

Vanessa August 31, 2010 at 9:39 AM  

Oh, Leslie, you are SO right! Haha, yes, Jake, PLEASE take it OFF!!!

& no worries, Leslie, what happens on ISJ "STAYS" on ISJ! (well, that's not really true, but oh well, that's what makes this place so much fun!)


Becky Heineke August 31, 2010 at 9:56 AM  

Nathália, I left you a comment on your blog, but I want to say here too that I'm so honored you included me among all those other amazing blogs!! Thanks for recommending me! :D And thanks for reading!!!

AS FOR BIGFOOT, Vanessa, believe it or not, that picture was the first thing I thought of when I saw that picture! And now we have THIS from gyllenhaalisgr8. Great Jake fans think alike... ;D

As for the underwear discussion, all I will say is that you're totally safe. Much more scandalous things have been discussed in the name of guys haven't even made me blush yet! If he really ain't wearing anything in these, well, let's just say that's not the first time that's happened. ;)

Vanessa August 31, 2010 at 9:58 AM  

Oh & here is how I like to see him dressed & I would bet he is most likely commando under THESE


HAHAHA, LMFAO! Thanks for that link, PG, gyllenhaalisgr8, you did exactly what I pictured! GREAT JOB!!! >;-P

Leslie August 31, 2010 at 10:04 AM  

Vanessa: OMFG!!! (I'm peeking through my fingers!)

PG: And you know this . . HOW??? ;} (Bike shorts aside)

Becky Heineke August 31, 2010 at 10:29 AM  

^^^ ONLY because I have spent many years around people who bring these things to my attention, of course! *ahem* ;D

Seriously, I can't believe gyllenhaalisgr8 hasn't come forward yet with the infamous pictures from that OTHER TIME he wore khakis... :)

CigarattesAndCoffee August 31, 2010 at 10:41 AM  

You mean this one PG?
Oh my god, I can't believe I'm posting about this too!

Leslie August 31, 2010 at 10:43 AM  

I seriously just picked myself up off the floor

CigarattesAndCoffee August 31, 2010 at 10:47 AM  

Although this is um. Um. Hm. I'll just leave this here.

Becky Heineke August 31, 2010 at 11:06 AM  

NOW I'm blushing. ;D

(And yes, CigarattesAndCoffee, the first picture was exactly the one of I was thinking off!!)

Vanessa August 31, 2010 at 11:12 AM  

O.M.G. How in the hell am I ever going to be able to keep my mind out of the gutter & on work now??? Thanks a LOT, C&C! Heehee, oh but WHAT a luscious distraction, RIGHT?

I LOVE this place, ISJ truly rocks! You guys are a scream! >;-)

Anonymous,  August 31, 2010 at 11:24 AM  

Hard to believe, but the comments outdid the original post this time :D

I see Natalie was wrong about the alopecia, lol

Becky Heineke August 31, 2010 at 11:36 AM  

Well, outdoing the original post wouldn't have been hard this time... :D But I agree that the comments were WAY above average!

Leslie August 31, 2010 at 11:38 AM  

CAC: Now THAT'S what I was talking about when I said put the Jarhead blu-ray on slow-mo!!!!! Can I say I've already seen this . . in motion . . over a few hundred times???

Ohhhhhhh myyyyyyyy *melting*

Sam August 31, 2010 at 4:56 PM  

Is that Jarhead picture really Jake? It's hard to see the face???

gyllenhaalisgr8 August 31, 2010 at 10:32 PM  


CigarattesAndCoffee: Thanks for posting my shower pic! Maybe someone is actually visiting my Treasures!

S4M985: Even in steam, you cannot mistake the shape of Jake's head (the top one).

Vanessa: Thanks for liking big foot!

Leslie: I have only seen him [photoed] in Calvin Klein. I'm betting they're tighty-whities, because God knows Jake needs the support!

PG: Thanks for posting my Big Foot Jake pic! :^)> (<-Jake with beard). And about that "other" khaki pic, it's EVERYWHERE (like even my cell phone wallpaper!). I never posted this, and Stephen will probably kill me, but I just uploaded it for all of you:

Now I'm going to hide under the bed.

gyllenhaalisgr8 August 31, 2010 at 10:36 PM  

P.S. Tell me when you have all seen the crotch montage and maybe I can delete it before Stephen gets wind of it! Oh, what the hell -- he knows I'm totally insane (about his baby boy)!

gyllenhaalisgr8 August 31, 2010 at 10:44 PM  

FYI, I have now made 34 Jake YouTube videos (and a couple for Heath)! Did I just say insane? Guilty as charged!

gyllenhaalisgr8 August 31, 2010 at 10:48 PM  

No...wait...not obsessed...just thorough!

CigarattesAndCoffee September 1, 2010 at 6:27 AM  

gyllenhaalisgr8, I never knew that was your photo! It was just being posted around Tumblr :)

gyllenhaalisgr8 September 1, 2010 at 6:40 AM  

C&C: I mean, it's a screen capture, but I take plain Jake photos and work them graphically. I really played with it to see "the main subject" at its best! And I also add text to plain photos to make them more special, more poster-like. PG has my Gyllenhaal Treasures at the sidebar; besides twitpic and flickr, that's their real home!

Becky Heineke September 1, 2010 at 8:44 AM  

I see the crotch shot survived on Twitter overnight! :D Ah, don't worry, gyllenhaalisgr8. I don't think Stephen would surprised by anything at this point!! ;D

Becky Heineke September 1, 2010 at 8:45 AM  

Crotch shotS. Plural. Definitely plural!!

gyllenhaalisgr8 September 1, 2010 at 8:59 AM  

PG...I've been thinking a LOT about showing you my X-rated ones. I have never posted them anywhere near the internet, so if I emailed them to you, you would have to delete or eat (let me rephrase that, LOL!). But they are AWE-SOME.

Leslie September 1, 2010 at 9:00 AM  

Does dad have a penchant for getting inflamed or something?

gyllenhaalisgr8 September 1, 2010 at 9:11 AM might be paranoia on my part, but I KNOW he's protective of Jake in the public eye. But if you think I'm bad here, I'm worse on twitter, and since he follows my tweets, I'm FUCKED!

Leslie September 1, 2010 at 9:48 AM  

gyllenhaalsisgr8: No, you just wish you were ;}

gyllenhaalisgr8 September 1, 2010 at 10:05 AM  

HAHAHAHA -- depends which Gyllenhaal we're talking about here! :^p

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