Friday, June 18, 2010

BREAKING: Jake Gyllenhaal Once Again Has Facial Hair

He's also checking out chicks, reading other people's text messages, and being hit on by Dustin Hoffman.  It was a WILD NIGHT OUT for Gylls.  Slow down, tiger!

(With this, we can add Dustin Hoffman to our list of blacklisted celebrities.)

If you're wondering who the man is he's with, that's me.  In disguise.  It's a poorly-kept secret that I'm actually with Jake pretty much all of the time.

UPDATE:  Call Me Mo has rightfully noticed that the Gyllenhaal Protection Agency has officially been put into action.  See below:

(No incidents outside the game, though obviously The Hoffman Incident suggests we need to work on our arena skills.  But hey, it was only our first day.)

FURTHER UPDATE:  There are now even more pictures of Jake, this time walking out of a restaurant and being offered a joint (I warned you he had a wild night):

And true, from these pictures it looks like he didn't take it, but how else do you explain this:

More at PopSugar and even more at IHJ!  Thanks to HappyDogBlog for the tip!  And thanks to Call Me Mo for pointing out that I'd missed the best shots of the set!


Anonymous,  June 18, 2010 at 11:41 AM  

He is REALLY checking out that girl's ass - back away from my man, bitch!


Call Me Mo June 18, 2010 at 11:58 AM  

You may be the guy sitting next to him, PG, but I was disguised as the skank walking up the steps. ;]

Now I feel sheepish. My sister asked me if I thought Jake was at the game, and I said no because he doesn't go places where he's likely to be photographed if he can avoid it. Dang. Jake is taking all my prior conceptions and throwing them right out. Example: what is this about?? At least the people in the picture are facing the correct and appropriate way. This guy is applying to be a Jake Protection Agent:

gyllenhaalisgr8 June 18, 2010 at 12:09 PM  

Okay. I love Jake with every fiber of my being, but beard, be gone! I can't imagine that God intended that gorgeous face to be covered up! That's going way beyond soft fuzz. I guess I'll go watch all of his clean-shaven movies and try to shake that image out of my head. Oh, hell, he's perfect no matter what. I'm doomed.

Becky Heineke June 18, 2010 at 12:19 PM  

I think I just got OWNED. Mo, I concede your disguise trumps mine. ;D

Unfortunately I didn't see the pics of him going into the game until I already put the post up (too distracted by his deplorable behavior and wildly overgrown facial hair apparently). Is that really a peace sign (surely not!)? Is that really someone protecting him not personally assigned by me (say it isn't so!)? I feel adrift in a sea of confusion...

(Although I'm so updating the post to include that police guy because that's awesome.)

All of our worldviews are taking a hit today...

Becky Heineke June 18, 2010 at 12:19 PM  

AND NOW THERE ARE MORE PICTURES ALREADY. How can a person be expected to keep up with him?!

Call Me Mo June 18, 2010 at 1:03 PM  

After reassessing, I can see why Jake was acting so out of character. I see you, Adam. Told ya he's a bad influence. He is corrupting him.

Anonymous,  June 18, 2010 at 1:24 PM  

I dont know how i figured this one out by just seeing "TANA" but i did. Its the restaurant DAN TANA. LOL.

proof: George Clooney

Outside image:


Trijs,  June 18, 2010 at 1:26 PM  

I'm more worried what happened after the game and before the joint. Since when does he spill food (I assume) on his shirt? Was there a food fight going on inside?

gyllenhaalisgr8 June 18, 2010 at 3:04 PM  

I was doing the dishes and thinking about the girl Jake was checking out. Can you even imagine being that woman if she sees those pics published somewhere??? OMG -- talk about your missed opportunity! I thinik I would just lay down and die!

Becky Heineke June 18, 2010 at 3:14 PM  

^^^ I had this same thought! (Though the petty, selfish part of me is finding it impossible to feel sorry for her...even if it was Call Me Mo in disguise. ;))

Holy crap, he WAS with Adam Levine!! I was thisclose to making an Adam Levine comment in the post and now I will go to my grave regretting it because it could have been further proof that I'm psychic. Today, I have failed at life.

Apparently Adam was at the restaurant too (well researched, HDB!), so perhaps he was the one throwing food at Jake? Jesus, maybe he really is a bad influence on Jake.

Anonymous,  June 18, 2010 at 4:26 PM  

Just out of curiosity, how long have you girls like Jake?

Sam June 18, 2010 at 4:32 PM  

Im going to ignore the first few pictures... i know this is a big call but i think that was my favourite post on ISJ EVER!!!!

And ANON- for me its been 6 years. Since The Day After Tomorrow.

sumi k,  June 18, 2010 at 4:39 PM  

i threw food at jake at the restaurant, for checkin out that beezy's behind!

oh gylls. why must you keep denying our love???

Becky Heineke June 18, 2010 at 4:56 PM  


Side note: How awesome is it that we were all hanging out with Jake last night but were so cleverly disguised that none of us knew who the rest of us were? We are amazing people.

Anon, I've been a fan since late 2005. (BBM all the way.) Jake and I had a very intense relationship through the end of 2007, then we broke up, and now he's trying to woo me back. Considering his behavior in this post, he's so far been only partially successful.

KD,  June 18, 2010 at 4:58 PM  


Why can't he keep his face clean like his Moonlight Mile - Zodiac days?! Or at least with some scruff. I think a little scruff is still sexy. I foresee the return of the Wolverine beard soon.

Note to Jake:


Not this:

kthx, much appreciated by your protection agency!

So bizarre because that girl in the photograph sort of looks like my older sister from the back...I should call and ask if she was at the Lakes game last night!!

sumi k,  June 19, 2010 at 10:30 AM  

it is with great fanfare that i can finally reveal jake's secret whereabouts as of late!

it looks like those dance classes have really paid off.

Becky Heineke June 19, 2010 at 10:58 AM  

HAA!! sumi k, did you MAKE THAT?! That is maybe the craziest Jake-related thing I have ever seen in my entire life and that is seriously saying something. ;D

sumi k,  June 19, 2010 at 11:15 AM  

I didn't make that. I witnessed it. True story!!

(okay i lied. i did make that. jibjab provides me with endless hours of fun)


Becky Heineke June 19, 2010 at 12:23 PM  

HA, AWESOME! OK, now I for sure have to post the post that I wrote about it but didn't put up in time because then Jake showed up and DAMN HIM he is always showing up and ruining my blogging schedule. Tomorrow then! ;)

Sam June 19, 2010 at 11:54 PM  

Sumi K thats so funny! I love JibJab, they made for some funny ecards over xmas!

Evie June 20, 2010 at 12:27 PM  

I thought that was a pen the kid was trying to hand Jake, for an autograph. I know I'm spoiling the fun, but a pot-smoking incident is exactly the kind of "news" that will show in the tabloids and various blogs. Not fair to His Hotness, who is trying to lead a healthy life (or maybe doing his toking in private).

Becky Heineke June 20, 2010 at 5:36 PM  

Alas, I should be so lucky as to get picked up by a gossip blog. :) I do appreciate your concern, though. Rest assured I have spent many years writing about Jake and I have only the utmost respect for his privacy! :)

It was definitely a Sharpie (wrong side out) that the guy was handing to Jake...more than anything I was making on a commentary on the fact that he would NEVER be caught doing anything like that in public. In fact, one of the reasons Jake is so great to write about is because he DOES lead such a responsible life. I'm sorry if I offended you! :)

Evie June 20, 2010 at 7:16 PM  

No problem, PG. Thanks for your reply. I was feeling protective toward Jakey, is all. You were having some fun, and I understand that. He really is worth the effort, isn't he?

Becky Heineke June 20, 2010 at 7:45 PM  

I can honestly say I can't imagine the last few years without him. :) (Which I mean in a totally non-creepy I'm-his-fan-and-sure-he-doesn't-know-me-but-that's-totally-his-loss-right? way. ;D)

I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. And always feel free to challenge me! I'll be the first to admit that sometimes I need to be kept in check... ;)

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