Monday, May 17, 2010

Jake Gyllenhaal *Very Concerned* About the Quality of Fake Jakes on Twitter

Just look at this face:

If that's not the face of someone distraught over half-assed Twitter impersonators, I don't know what is!

Being the person who literally wrote the book on Fake Jakes on social networking sites, I share Jake's concern.

The latest moderately-successful Twitter-Jake was the tiresome "JBGyllenhaal" who, like the good fake that he was, sounded absolutely nothing like Jake, attracted hordes of followers anyway, and then was kicked off Twitter for being lame.  Now he has reinvented himself as (I'm not kidding) JBGyllenhaal2, so don't follow him, because even for a Fake Jake, that's a really stupid Twitter name.

Also to be put on your No Follow List:

1.  "Mirkinsrock," who fails our authenticity test because he appears to be an idiot.

2.  "MrGyllenhaal," who looks to be a fan of  We won't follow him because that's just sad.

3.  "jake_gyllenhaal," who does nothing except post paparazzi pictures and write tweets to himself.  I'm not convinced this person understands Twitter (although, to be fair, who among us does?).

Indeed, the sad fact is that while the medium of social networking may have changed over the years, the quality of Fake Jakes has not.  The best way to determine if the Jake you're following on Twitter is real is this:  IT'S NOT.

(Though if you were looking for an example, THIS is the level of devotion we should all learn to expect from Jake when it comes to communing with us lowly beings on the internet.)


Nothing Really Matters May 17, 2010 at 1:59 PM  

Dude how could you crush me like that? How could you?

Becky Heineke May 17, 2010 at 2:31 PM  

Terribly sorry, darling! You know I hate to hurt Pussy when she thinks she's communing with the rich and famous! If it's any consolation, I'm quite upset over it all, too... (Starting with why no one really dedicated to the craft ever imitates Jake. :( Very sad.)

Sam May 17, 2010 at 4:38 PM  

Mate? Is that your book? Argh! Did you really put that up there when I only have 5 minutes in the morning before i have to go to work?! ??!!

Becky Heineke May 17, 2010 at 6:29 PM  

Not to worry, Sam!! It's only a link to a VERY OLD version of a chapter than Cantara published back in 2008. In fact, maybe I shouldn't have posted that link because I'm not sure I wanted anyone reading that. Two years of revisions and new ideas have done WONDERS for that chapter (and all the others!). :)

Anonymous,  August 16, 2010 at 2:42 PM  

What about twitter account JakeGyllenhaal_ ???
That ones sounds real, or is it?

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