Monday, January 17, 2011

Real Conversations with Becky

I'm sitting in my parents' living room yesterday when I hear my phone ring in the other room.  It's the ringtone I have set for our family only, and Mom and Dad are right here so...

Becky:  It must be John!

I jump up to get my phone out of my purse.  Mom and Dad follow me.

Becky:  What's up?

John:  Hey, what are you doing?

Becky:  I'm at the house, talking to Mom and Dad.

John:  Oh, well --

Phone goes dead.

Becky:  John.  John?

Mom:  If you guys need to talk in private, we'll leave.

Becky:  No, it's not that --

Mom and Dad leave the room anyway.  John's voice comes back on the line.

John:  [unintelligible] Jake Gyllenhaal.

Becky:  What?

John:  How old is Jake Gyllenhaal?

Becky:  Uh, thirty.

John:  Huh.


John:  And he's dating Taylor Swift?

Becky:  Was.  They broke up.

John:  Huh.  Must be an old tabloid then.

More silence.  Then I hear him say to someone in the background, "He's thirty!  And they broke up!"

John:  How old is Taylor Swift?

Becky:  She just turned twenty-one.

John reports this information to whomever he's talking to.

John (deeply contemplating):  Taylor Swift...


John:  Don't you think that's...WEIRD?!

Becky:  You have no idea.

After a couple of more minutes, we say goodbye.  I go back into the living room.  My parents have heard only the numbers "thirty" and "twenty-one" from my side of the conversation.

Dad:  Was that about Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift?

Becky:  Yes.  Yes, it was.

This has been a real conversation with Becky.

(And to the surprise of no one, no, Jake did not win the Golden Globe last night.)


Becky Heineke January 17, 2011 at 10:01 AM  

A billion bonus points to anyone who remembers the original "Real Conversations with Becky" series on MySpace from 2006. (I have been blogging too long...)

phoebe,  January 17, 2011 at 10:14 AM  

I adore you and your family. :-)

S4M985,  January 17, 2011 at 3:35 PM  

Oh this was a classic! I have convos with ppl like this as well. Your Dad seems a hoot!

p.s. Last line also made me laugh!

S4M985,  January 17, 2011 at 3:36 PM  

p.s. I cant seem to log in. Since getting that gmail account everythings screwed up!

Miffed67 January 17, 2011 at 4:14 PM  

LMAO! Only your family. Seriously. TOO FUNNY!

Becky Heineke January 17, 2011 at 4:49 PM  

My family is AWESOME. Both in that they put up with me, and that they treat my behavior as "normal," even after all this time... :)

Sam, I'm so sorry! I totally take responsibility for that. I know it's the real you!! :D

KD,  January 17, 2011 at 8:02 PM  

Sounds like conversations in my house.

"What movies has RDJ starred in?"

"Oh, a ton. What era?"

"Era? Didn't he only start in 2001?"

"Mom, he's over 40..."


"Well, most people start working before 40..."

"Oh...that's weird."

*me thinking, LOL WUT.*

Nothing Really Matters January 18, 2011 at 4:22 AM  

Lol, darling you always know how to put a smile on my face!

Call Me Mo January 18, 2011 at 4:44 PM  

Ha. Random family conversations are the best. I like "Real Conversations with Becky".

Speaking of phone calls, my friend text me after she read about them breaking up and we "recreated" their last phone call. Totally legit. ;]

Jake: So, like, no sex at all?
Taylor: No.
Jake: What about oral, ya know? Maybe a lil anal?
Taylor: Uh, no. None at all.
Jake: *silence*
Taylor: Jake? You there?
Jake: Yeah, this isn't gonna work. It's been fun. Have a nice life.
Taylor: Jake, wai-
Jake: *dial tone*

Becky Heineke January 19, 2011 at 5:13 PM  

I am a terrible blog owner. I always read everyone's comments as soon as they're posted and then I don't respond for days at a time for absolutely no reason whatsoever. I apologize for being weird like that.

KD and Mo are totally tied for comment wins on this one. I SO LOLed AT BOTH OF YOU. :D

BeautifulMess74 March 24, 2011 at 7:13 AM  

Since I'm a new fan of your blog don't know about your fam. So just so I'm clear... John is?

BTW, Mo u r tots right about how it went down. But I'm sure it also included something about Jake not wanting to be the subj matter for her next album and her not willing to omit him from it.

Becky Heineke March 24, 2011 at 9:57 AM  

John is my younger brother. :) He's pretty averse to all things Jake-related and usually avoids bringing up the subject with me!!

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