I know that this will be hard for some of you to hear since Jake and I have had such a long and well-publicized history together but...there was someone else. Before Jake. It was low-key, and so much less volatile, but it was real.
Real delusional. Indeed, there was a time in my life when I thought that if Prince William just met me he would realize how awesome I am and fall madly in love with me. And now that long-buried part of me must die, slowly and painfully, as it becomes official that he has lost that opportunity:
All I can hope now is that he never meets me, because he'll be crushed once he realizes what he could have had... Meanwhile, the rest of the world's male population can breathe a sigh of relief that the competition for my affections just got a little less intense.
(Kate and Wills have known each other for ten years. Fuck, I feel old...)
And because apparently God woke up today and thought, 'Hey! Let's make it a Becky news day!' the other big announcement of the morning is that you can now buy Beatles songs on iTunes (!). The snob in me doesn't understand why anyone who is alive right now doesn't already have a complete Beatles library, but hell, Wills is going around marrying people who aren't me so WHERE IS THE SENSE IN LIFE.
I must now retire for a short while to regain my composure. Then I shall arise, listen to Revolver, and start plotting ways to stalk Prince Harry...
Press release from the website of William and Harry.