Monday, May 24, 2010

PG Live-Blogs Jake Gyllenhaal on David Letterman!

Before we begin, I'd like to take a moment to discuss the subject of manners.  I know that not everyone in the world thinks that Jake is the most important person on earth (poor, poor misguided souls though these people may be), but Jake's going to be doing several more interviews over the next few days.  And if he's going to be doing interviews, he's going to be walking around quite a bit.  And if he's going to be walking around, then people are going to be seeing him.

This is the proper response to seeing Jake Gyllenhaal moseying his little three-piece-suited ass down the streets of New York City:


And this is the improper response:
NEVER TRY TO OUTSHINE THE GYLLENHAAL IN A PAPARAZZI PICTURE.  I will have this man fired immediately.

Now, also before we begin, we need to get our Daily Facebook question out of the way, so let's hear from Andy "I'm not afraid to publicly declare my love for Weird Al Yankovic" Roewe:

Oh can I get Gemma's phone number??????????? PLEASE :)

ANSWER:  What kind of insane person would leave a question that wasn't for Jake?!  I'm sorry, Andy, but I don't have time to deal with your crap tonight.

Is it 10:35 Central Standard Time yet?  No?  Dammit.

I'll be back then!

(I'm going to play a drinking game this week and you guys should play along!  I'm going to drink two beers for every interview Jake does this week wearing the shirt he wore on this morning's GMA interview.  That puts me at 4 beers so far.  I figure the live-blogging will be much more entertaining if I'm mildly intoxicated.)

And I'm back.

Hell, let's throw another picture in here.  'Cause why not?

And here we go!

10:35 - Welcome to The Late Show with David Letterman!  Which tonight will be known as The Late Show with David Letterman Who Is Very Lucky Because He Will Be Talking To Jake Gyllenhaal (And Also Dr. Edward B. Overton, Whoever That Is).

10:38 - Jake's competing with the Dalai Lama tonight apparently, in terms of evening entertainment in Manhattan.

10:41 - Am I really going to recap Dave's entire monologue?  Probably not.

10:44 - We see a shot of Jake from the last time he was on Letterman, when it was 2007 and he had a caveman beard.

10:56 - "We'll be right back with Jake Gyllenhaal, everybody."  WELL IT'S ABOUT TIME.

11:00 - It's Jake!

11:00 - Jake looks tiny as he shakes Dave's hand, but mostly because Dave is standing on a platform about six inches above the floor.  Jake then milks the crowd for applause, because he's really into that today.

11:01 - On to the history of the Gyllenhaal family.  Dave asks Jake about being born into his acting career and Jake admits that yes, "I was forced into it like slavery." 

11:02 - Dave tells Jake he doesn't care about his family.

11:02 - Dave tells the same story of meeting Jake's parents from the last time Jake was there, and Jake will have none of that.

11:03 - Jake brings up a fictional Uncle Larry and Dave about dies of laughter.

11:04 - Stephen!  Every time Jake goes on Letterman, Stephen somehow gets thrown into the mix.  We're all of 4 minutes in and the tradition continues.  (I think Dave might be fascinated by him, and I kinda want to tell him that I understand but he will eventually get over it.)

11:04 - Jake mentions Russia and he's laughing in such a manner that I'm expecting some reference to the Club Scene of YouTube Fame any minute now!

11:05 - But, um, I guess we're not going there.  Jake informs us that after reading some totally random book, he learned that Russians don't like people to laugh or smile.  Upon learning this, Jake was horrified, because he's incapable of doing anything but either, all of the time.

11:07 - And here are pictures of himself which he has brought to share.  The first one is a MUGSHOT.  Of Jake in a Russian getup.  Where is my screenshot of this already?!

Morning update:  Thank you, gyllenhaalic4jake!!


11:07 - Shot of Jake and a Russian Homer Simpson in front of the Kremlin.


11:08 - Shot of Jake scowling into a plate of food at his "favorite Russian restaurant."  (All of these are way too funny in execution for me to increase their humor value by making fun of them.)


11:08 - Talk of the corrupt Russian government.  Jake says he cannot confirm.  Is this because he's been corrupted by the government?

11:09 - Prince of Persia recap.  ALSO, Jake confirms what I said earlier about him actually having a dagger that turns back time.

11:10 - Jake admits that Disney defiled ancient buildings to build magical sets for Prince of Persia.

11:10 - Jake introduces the clip.  And...

11:12 - ...we're back.

11:12 - And we're done!  Dave wishes Jake well with his acting career.

That was very intense!  And with no drawn-out story of ridiculousness from Jake, either, but rather a myriad of topics covered in a consistently amusing manner!  My live-blogging skills are a bit rusty, I think, but overall a good time was had by all.

And now I have to go to bed. 

Picture of man mock-gaping at Jake's svelte, lithe body from celebrity-gossip.net.

23 comments:

coffeecat May 24, 2010 at 10:53 PM  

Wow - this is really great but it's past my bedtime too, man, so g'night and I'll read the recap in the morning! x

Prophecy Girl May 24, 2010 at 10:55 PM  

Dude, he's on in 30 seconds! Ah, well. I'll get you caught up. ;)

sumi k,  May 24, 2010 at 11:18 PM  

before i found this website, i was a sad panda-ing lost soul. i thought i was alone in my oddball quest of jake gyllenhaal (or is he known as gylls now? who knows.. scary!) and how he smells (im betting citrus, soap, and spearmint). lovelovelove this page.


i promise im not super creepy. im just short of 'im going to make a hair doll for jake' creepy. but give me a few drinks, and who knows what will happen. <3

Prophecy Girl May 24, 2010 at 11:35 PM  

HA HA, awesome! I'm so happy that you found the site!! Um, yes, there will be no "taking Jake super-seriously" or "not wondering what kind of socks he's wearing" around here. We gotta keep our priorities in check and you've definitely got yours straight. Welcome aboard, sumi k!

S4M985 May 25, 2010 at 3:37 AM  

Firstly Sumi K- You are gonna fit in here PERFECTLY! Welcome :)

...There should be a "caption this" for the second photo. It is a CLASSIC- But SO NOT the way to look at that SMF

Now im going to hunt down the Youtube video so i can pretend im apart of the "live blogging" bbs im sure!

S4M985 May 25, 2010 at 3:42 AM  

Good to see Jake still unbottons his suit jacket as he sits down. I swear years ago there was as youtube video full of just snippits of him sitting and unbuttoning.

S4M985 May 25, 2010 at 4:02 AM  

well well well, he is ON FIRE! So funny!

Is the third picture in the restaurant the same restaurant where "that night" began??!!

Anonymous,  May 25, 2010 at 4:47 AM  

good grief! is that the most lips-licking appearance he's ever done in his life or what?!? Thank God I gave up assembling all the tongue pics a long time ago, this would have taken forever to capture!

Hi PG, it's great to have you back again (( )) :) Oh, and that David Letterman, what a dweeb!

Prophecy Girl May 25, 2010 at 9:36 AM  

I finally got the video up in a new post so that anyone who hasn't seen it (or anyone who wants to see it again) can have easy access to it. That is the downside to these late shows...the videos go up overnight and I get behind! (Ah, the days when there were two of us in two different time zones...)

Sam, I think that IS the restaurant!! That's what I immediately thought when I saw that picture! Snort.

And thank you, anon! (Even if you're not really anon because the tongue pictures give you away!!! :D)

randomhero2006 May 25, 2010 at 11:12 AM  

He should've kept the jacket off and kept the glasses on, but he is working that suit. Now I am most certain Jake reads ISJ. Vast improvement on the shoes, Mr Gyllenhaal. Huzzah!

Alec Ramsey May 25, 2010 at 12:30 PM  

Excellent live blogging PG! You should give yourself a merit badge for that.

Jake was his typical wonderful self during the interview.

Ok that dude yawning in the first picture should be fired too. You don't yawn when you're looking upon greatness!

Prophecy Girl May 25, 2010 at 3:59 PM  

I should have saved that picture for a caption contest. I'm regretting it already!

Anonymous,  December 8, 2010 at 11:05 AM  

Questo davvero risolto il mio problema, grazie!

Anonymous,  December 20, 2010 at 2:46 PM  

Maybe I`ll be Captain Obvious, but... it's only few days to New Year last, so let's be happy!
Hoho3ho!)

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